Armchair Coach: Canada's Roster

The Canadian Olympic Men's Hockey Roster was unveiled this afternoon in Saskatoon. Following the disastrous outing in Turin in 2006, Steve Yzerman put a greater emphasis on team cohesion, youth and versatility, overlooking some veterans by picking players with known chemistry together (see San Jose's top line). Going into the selection process there were some indubitable locks to make the team, but the rest of the roster was up in the air.

Canada's Olympic Men's Hockey Roster in my projected, but rather obvious line combinations:

GOALTENDERS
Martin Brodeur	Marc-Andre Fleury	Roberto Luongo
The schedule is not as tightly packed as last Olympics', so there is a good chance that one goaltender gets a majority of the workload. Brodeur will likely get the nod as #1 for the tournament barring injury or a demoralizing loss. Fleury will likely get the call against one of the lesser teams to see how he performs on the international stage. Luongo, who has never been past the 2nd round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs has plenty of international experience, but not as much as Fleury in the pressure-cooker games of the finals.

DEFENSEMEN
Scott Niedermayer	Chris Pronger
Anchoring the top spot are Canada's defensive stalwarts, and top pair from the 2007 Stanley Cup winning Anaheim Ducks, Niedermayer and Pronger, epitomizing the desired mix of intelligent playmaking defense with a bruising physical presence.
Dan Boyle	Shea Weber
Boyle is a smart, and gritty puck mover who can put pucks to the net while Weber is as solid as they come in the defensive end.
Duncan Keith	Brent Seabrook
Keith and Seabrook are a young pair that anchor the Chicago Blackhawks defense corps together.
Drew Doughty
Drew Doughty, at only 20 years of age, brings a complete game to the ice and will be ready to fill any role required of him.

FORWARDS
Patrice Bergeron	Sidney Crosby	Rick Nash
Crosby and Nash found some intriguing chemistry on the ice during the orientation camp held in Calgary earlier this year. Patrice Bergeron was Crosby's set-up man back in his last World Juniors appearance on arguably the strongest team ever iced in that tournament. Bergeron was a sleeper pick whose solid two-way play, ability to play all three forward positions and familiarity with Crosby gave him the leg up on other contenders. I am hoping Bergeron changes his name to "Stills".
Dany Heatley	Joe Thornton	Patrick Marleau
These three are San Jose's top line. This line pairs Thornton's big-body playmaking with a pair of shooters in Heatley and Marleau. They are a consistent scoring threat that will add even more depth and balance to Canada's attack.
Mike Richards	Eric Staal	Jerome Iginla
Eric Staal and Jerome Iginla will be looking to prove themselves as they are having sub-par seasons. They are both very gifted scorers who've had some trouble finding the net recently. Mike Richards, a defensive-minded power forward and captain of the Philadelphia Flyers and captain of the 2005 World Juniors squad that featured the likes of Crosby, Bergeron, Seabrook, Weber, Getzlaf and Perry, adding a defensive presence to an otherwise offensively oriented line.
Brenden Morrow	Ryan Getzlaf	Corey Perry
Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf have played together since junior, both reaching mainstream recognition with their stellar campaign in the aforementioned 2005 World Juniors when they took home gold. This line will be relied upon to tire out the other team as they are big, fast and can hold the puck down in the opposing zone for a long period of time.
Jonathan Toews
As one of the youngest members of the roster, but also one of the most dynamic scorers in Canada's arsenal, Jonathan Toews and his hard to read name is an indicator of the direct Steve Yzerman wants to take this team: young, fast, responsible, and oh so very talented. He is on this very deep squad to fill in for any injury. He is a game-breaking clutch performer, as evidenced in the 2007 World Juniors when he scored 3 times in the 7-round shootout to seal the victory for Canada over the US.

The team Steve Yzerman has put together is characterized by size, skill and skating. Learning from the Turin debacle in which a team chock-full of talent and experience had their collective butts handed to them by border-line NHLers, Yzerman aimed for putting together a team with existing chemistry. The Olympic teams have about 2 weeks to gel together as a unit under a different coaching system, the pressure of the national stage and teammates that were, just a week before, the enemy. This year we also see a changing of the guard. Gone are the likes of Ryan Smyth, Shane Doan, Brad Richards, Martin St. Louis, Vincent Lecavalier, Adam Foote, etc. In their stead is the successful core of younger players from the World Juniors of 2005 led by Sidney Crosby and other standout players who've developed their game to take on new roles.

What the Fractal?

A fractal is a geometric shape that, when broken down into its constituent parts, contains the same approximate shape exhibited in the whole.

One of the simplest and most popular fractals is the Koch Snowflake, an infinitely recurring pattern of equilateral triangles.

They can be extremely complicated, like the Mandelbrot Set.

Some fractals are even nutritious and delicious.

A fabulous joke

What do pubescent boys and DNA helicases have in common?


They both want to unzip your jeans.

Marketing Pitch: iPod Touch

Perfect for:

• Music
• Videos
• Games
• Email
• RSS Feeds
• Twitter
• Facebook

on the can.

Epic Celebration: Henrik Andersen

The English Major: the Apostasy in Apostrophanity

I cannot do this topic justice in light of http://apostrophe.me/

Breakfast Beverage

I don't like to use mugs, so I always take one of the tall glasses at the office. They have some nice octagonal ones. I also don't like to pull out spoons for stirring, which leads to the following.

How I Make My Daily Breakfast Beverage

1. Grab the tall octagonal glass
2. Pour some sugar from the container into the glass by visual approximation (1-2 tsps)
3. Pour about 2 fingers of coffee over the sugar and swirl the glass to dissolve the sugar
4. Add 2-3 fingers of milk and swirl again to mix
5. Fill glass with tea
6. Enjoy

The Milk:Coffee:Tea ratio is about 4:3:10, which gives it a creaminess and an aromatic tea flavour with a hint of coffee.

Charts and graphs that should finally make it clear

blasé, but accurate-ish.

(via Holy Taco)

"I like it."

Castle, an ABC drama-comedy, starring Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) is wise-cracking mystery novelist, Rick Castle, who is called in to consult on a homicide case when bodies are found arranged and apparently killed the same way characters in his novels were.

It is an awesome show. Mondays at 10.

Mew

It's going to be legen -- wait for it --

This is scary.

Just a bump.

Tyranitar

I will be alternating between scary/cool and cute Pokemon

Girafarig

Girafarig is a palindrome.

Scizor

I rotoscoped the Scizor game sprite into a vector pseudo-watercolour. I want to make more.

Recession Meschmession

This year, I've spent $80 on two pairs of gloves.

Do your part for the economy.

Armchair Coach: Opening Day 2009

My projected lineup for this season's edition of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Forwards:
Jason Blake - Matt Stajan - Niklas Hagman Viktor Stalberg
Alexei Ponikarovsky - Mikael Grabovski - Viktor Stalberg Niklas Hagman
John Mitchell - Rikard Wallin - Lee Stempniak
Jay Rosehill - Wayne Primeau - Colton Orr

Defensemen:
Tomas Kaberle - Mike Komisarek
Francois Beauchemin - Luke Schenn
Ian White - Garnet Exelby

Goaltenders:
Vesa Toskala
Jonas Gustavsson

Extras:
Nikolai Kulemin
Tyler Bozak Jiri Tlusty
Carl Gunnarsson

Injured Reserve:
Phil Kessel (Shoulder)
Jamal Mayers (Concussion)
Jeff Finger (Oblique)
Mike Van Ryn (Knee)

Armchair Coach: "It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs."

UPDATE: Kessel signs with the Leafs for $27 million over 5 years. Boston receives the 1st and 2nd round pick for 2010, and the 1st round pick for 2011.

---

The Toronto Maple Leafs appear set to make a solid run at acquiring Phil Kessel, the 21 year old right winger who recorded 36 goals in 70 games last season with the Boston Bruins, two years after a form of testicular cancer sidelined him. He is currently recovering from off-season shoulder surgery and will not be able to play until mid-November.

Burke is reportedly offering the Bruins an opportunity to trade Kessel before he becomes a restricted free agent to the tune of 2 first round draft picks, a 2nd round pick and a current roster player or prospect. There was a 2009 Draft day deal that was reportedly on the verge of consummation that broke down due to a miscommunication. Toronto's version of the deal: Tomas Kaberle for Phil Kessel and Boston's 1st round pick; Boston's version of the deal: Phil Kessel for Tomas Kaberle and Toronto's 1st round pick. Now that Kaberle's no-movement clause has kicked in, he is off the table.

Kessel's camp has turned down Boston's pitiful offer (well under the projected $5.5 million), and he is set to become a free agent by the end of this week, so the time is ripe for a deal to be made. But wait, aren't the Leafs rebuilding (presumably through the draft)? Doesn't losing two 1st rounders, additional picks, $5.5 million per year and a roster player seem like an extremely heavy price to pay for a currently injured player with a fairly one-dimensional game?

Let's break it down. Hypothetically, if the deal goes through, this is what the Leafs would receive.

Official scouting summary:

ASSETS: Owns electric skating ability and a howitzer of a shot. Can line up at all three forward positions. Is an exceptional dangler.
FLAWS: Needs to work on his play without the puck. May not have enough face-off or defensive ability to line up at center in the NHL. Lacks ideal size.
CAREER POTENTIAL: First line forward.

If you've read hockey scouting reports before, you'll know the pattern. Skills and potential are addressed, things to improve are brought to light and a projected role is assigned. Very rarely though, will you see a report that contains adjectives like electric, or nouns like howitzer or dangler. These are words normally confined to the realm of play-by-play commentators, not official assessments.

This report tells us that Phil Kessel is a player that scouts get very excited about. His talent and ability are far and above anything the current Leafs roster has to offer in terms of pure offense. Kessel has superstar-caliber stuff, and at the age of 21, still has a lot of time to develop and mature his defensive game to become better rounded.

For the Leafs, Kessel is nearly a perfect fit. He can provide the 1st line with a surefire scoring option the likes which we haven't seen in Toronto since Alexander Mogilny. Though he is small, he has ridiculous speed and skating ability. The Leaf roster bulked up considerably this past summer with big, bruising defensemen, and hulking, fearless pluggers that will make the 2009-2010 team a really painful team to play against. The Burke-model of big, mean players means there will be more room for smaller, skilled players.

The Leafs team is also in the middle of a culture change, putting defense well above all other aspects of the game. This is something that Kessel would benefit greatly from learning. Coach Ron Wilson is not above shelving a player who is not following the game plan to shake things up. Pairing Kessel with a defensively responsible pivot like Matt Stajan would also give him some room to be creative. He would also be a great outlet for breakout passers like Kaberle or Ian White.

If we get Phil Kessel:

Jason Blake - Matt Stajan - Phil Kessel
Alexei Ponikarovsky - Mikael Grabovski - Nikolai Kulemin
Jiri Tlusty - John Mitchell - Niklas Hagman
Wayne Primeau - Rickard Wallin - Colton Orr/Lee Stempniak/Ian White

Tomas Kaberle - Mike Komisarek
Francois Beauchemin - Luke Schenn
Ian White/Mike Van Ryn/Jeff Finger/Garnet Exelby

In terms of our re-build, Phil Kessel is obviously a shortcut back to the playoffs. Should he remain healthy, a player of his caliber can push a team like the Leafs in the weakened Northeast division up the standings. Because the draft is arranged according to the previous season's standings, our draft position will likely be low (15-18th). In essence, the Leafs would acquire a proven commodity for two or three long-term maybes. Not all high picks pan out either, as countless players have whithered under the expectations that come with being a top ten pick.

A random act of kindness, followed by a random segue

On the way to work this morning, a TTC bus pulled to a halt at the side of the road about 500 m from the next bus stop to flag down someone who was walking towards the it and let him on. There was no way that guy could have made it to the bus stop on time to get on with everyone else. He would have had to wait another 15-30 minutes.

In other news, Priscilla Ahn got a haircut!

Better Breakfast Tea

Last night, I got a green apple green tea with tapioca from Go For Tea. It was huge.

So I got them to put it into a take-out cup and promptly left it in the cupholder in the car overnight.

This morning, I had tea for breakfast. Green apple green tea, of course.

Hi, I'm a Mac

It has been about 1 month since I received my first Mac, and here is a brief rundown of how awesome it is, and also the not-so-awesome bits, in no particular order, based on my own needs and expectations.

AWESOME:

• the looks: svelte!
• baaaaaaaaattery life: 8-ish hours!
• trackpad: for most things, better than a separate mouse
• Spaces and Expose: organizing without thinking
• speed: base model is still stupid fast
• so quiet!
• the screen: she is beautiful and highly viewable
• back-lit keyboard: no more tilting screen down to find keys in the dark

NOT AWESOME:

• sharp corners on lid opening indentation
• so easy to get dirty
• only 2 usb ports stuck very close together
• SD cards stick out from the reader, so I cannot boost storage space (or run OS X off of an 8 GB SD card)

DOUBLE NOT AWESOME:
I ordered Snow Leopard through the Up-To-Date program (pay for shipping only). It was due to arrive on September 3, having shipped on August 28. It has not arrived. I called Apple Support and waited on hold for 20 minutes or so before I could get it filed as lost/stolen. They're sending me another one free of charge with a different carrier.

This only happens once in awhile

So I'm marking it here for posterity.

In other news, Brian Burke declared that the Maple Leafs have two top-six forwards heading into this season: Mikael Grabovski and Matt Stajan (!).

I am pleased, but at the same time a little bit puzzled.

Outside of this blog and probably his family members and his hometown of Mississauga, Matt Stajan does not receive much praise.

Last year, prior to the season's start, then-Interim General Manager Cliff Fletcher lowered fan expectations and singled out Nik Antropov as the only top-six forward on the team. He was promptly dealt to Atlanta at the trade deadline after racking up career numbers on a team in a tailspin.

Burke is a master at making deals, and a good portion of that mastery is a result of how well he can sell a player. Publicly declaring the viability of these two forwards serves more than one purpose. Higher expectations will likely produce better results in players who've been given the confidence of upper management. Better results mean those players will show up on the radars of other teams.

I believe the praise is deserved. Stajan's on-ice poise, hockey smarts and defensive play make him one of the most reliable forwards we have. He has shown improvement in each of his 4 seasons, though not quite reaching the initial expectations. He has spent the last 4 years honing his defense and centerman duties (face-offs, puck distribution). Now out of the shadow of Sundin, and backed by a larger, more physically imposing team, I think this will be another breakout year for Stajan.

Updates you didn't need to know about

I have not blogged in awhile. That does not mean I haven't written, it just means all that stuff is sitting in the blog post queue, waiting for me to finish them (or start them). To get back into the groove, I will write less ambitiously.

Anyway, my mom made me take vitamin B supplements. My pee is now neon yellow thanks to all the riboflavin that my body didn't need and flushed out.

You know how I love

dinosaurs, right? I think they are awesome. I love animals in general, but something about dinosaurs just takes it to the next level. They were so diverse and distinct in their size, shape and ability, with such a mysterious end, that one cannot help but be fascinated.

I went to the ROM last year as part of an exhibit promotion directed towards teachers (and would-be teachers). Even though all that I could see were merely fossilized bones (and replicas of extrapolated bones due to incomplete finds), it didn't take too much of a stretch to imagine those skeletons housing vast organs, covered in sinew and ligaments, layered with fat and pebbly reptile skin, teeth and claw and other biological weaponry jutting forth menacingly.

So when I see an institution defaming one of my few passions in life, I must say, I have to agree with this guy.

The Creation Museum is the brainchild of the Young Earth Creationist Ken Ham, founder of Answers In Genesis. I use the term 'brainchild' here very loosely.

I can only assume the goal of this museum is to educate the unwashed, heathen masses in the literal and inerrant truth of the Bible. I imagine the proposal went something like this:
"I want to build something to establish God's presence in the world and to teach everyone about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."
"How about we feed the poor and serve the needy?"
"Mm, that's been done before. Let's do something new! Everyone loves dinosaurs, right? And everyone loves God too! Let's put them together in a museum!"
"Uhh, is that really a good use of our donated funds?"
"Of course it is! Can't you tell by all the exclamation points I'm using?!"
27 million dollars and 7 years later, we have this grandiose mockery of all that is reasonable.

Sigh.

I am not angry. I am just frustrated with the general slant of fundamentalist/legalistic religion in the American South. It is simply bewildering how they can do such a great disservice to God, science, education and dinosaurs, in one bullheaded move. They have my sincerest pity.

To my brothers and sisters in Christ, think about what you read earnestly and critically; just because it has one kernel of truth in it does not mean it is not a complete bumwaffle. To my brothers and sisters not affiliated with any Christian denomination, please don't be too hard on these folk; they are doing the best they know how, albeit severely misguided.

Sfumato

My life has changed

for the better, I think.



(courtesy of Lifehacker and Slate)

Canadian Politics and why I love it

This reminds me of that time Parliament put everything down to discuss whether or not Shane Doan should represent Team Canada as its captain because of his alleged remarks against the French. Or like that time no one could do anything about the economy because there was a big hissy fit about coalition governments being undemocratic.

Full disclosure: I'm not a fan of Stephen Harper's Conservatives (the political party), nor am I a fan of Roman Catholicism (the institution), so this confluence of events tickles me something fierce.

Catholics believe in transubstantiation, wherein the wafer and wine received during the Sacrament of Eucharist is transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit into the body and blood of Christ. Literally. Only baptized Roman Catholics 10 and up are to receive the host (body). Those who wish to abstain are to cross their arms across their chests, or shake their heads, or tilt their heads up, or just don't get in the line to indicate polite refusal.

Stephen Harper is of the Protestant mold, and thus has a different view of the Eucharistic ceremony. But in the eyes of Catholics, it looks like he put a piece of Jesus, their Lord and Saviour, born of the Mother of God and crucified on a cross, into his suit jacket pocket. In my opinion, their ire -- however misguided -- is hardly justified. While Harper should have known better than to catch the priest's attention to receive the wafer, the priest should have known better than to serve the host to a Protestant; they are supposed to ask recipients if they are baptized Catholics first.

Harper's spokesperson/damage-control, Dimitri Soudas, has already issued a statement: "The story today alleges he put it in his pocket and did not consume it which is false. It's totally absurd and ridiculous."

This debacle completely overshadowed the event (memorial for Romeo LeBlanc). It's more fun to blow up a pointless thing into a huge kerfuffle rather than to talk about actual problems.

Armchair Coach: Free Agency 2009

Every July 1st, free agency begins for the NHL, allowing teams to upgrade talent, or offload bad contracts. This season, the Leafs made many changes before and during the season, most notably in their front office. They finally landed a big time General Manager whose penchant for big moves was the talk of the town for several weeks even before he was even hired.

The NHL Draft and beginning of free agency are Brian Burke's biggest opportunities to start making his mark on a team that has lacked identity, competitiveness and skill for a very long time. During his inauguration speech last November, Burke promised that "[the Leafs will] require, as a team, proper levels of pugnacity, testosterone, truculence and belligerence."


Burke promised to make a run at securing the number one pick at the draft this year, but other general managers were wary of Burke's draft-day dealings. He has orchestrated some of the biggest signings on th draft floor in modern hockey, securing the first overall pick to land Chris Pronger for Hartford and making a complicated set of swaps to land the top 2 and 3 picks to snag Daniel and Henrik Sedin. Needless to say, the Leaf draft was more subdued and no large deals were made.

Today's first day of free agency showed that Burke was serious about his promise.

Additions:
Colton Orr: 6'3" 222 lbs | RW
Garnet Exelby: 6'1" 215 lbs | D
Mike Komisarek: 6'4" 245 lbs | D

They're big, mean and hit hard.

July 6, 2009:
Burke continues to stock up on Defensemen, signing Francois Beauchemin to a 3 year $10 Million deal. Beauchemin is coming off an injury-plagued off-season with Brian Burke's former team, the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. For those keeping track at home, the Leafs' current defense looks like this:
Tomas Kaberle, Ian White, Luke Schenn, Jeff Finger, Mike Van Ryn, Garnet Exelby, Mike Komisarek, Francois Beauchemin

Marlie call-ups: Jonas Frogren, Anton Stralman, Jay Harrison, Jaime Sifers, Phil Oreskovic

It is an impressive stack of defensive presence that will hopefully quell the number of goals against this upcoming season, and maybe boost Vesa Toskala's confidence and statistics (so we can trade him for greater value at the deadline). The Leafs gave up 293 goals in 2008-09, an average of nearly 4 goals per game.

That being said, there should be no delusions of grandeur about this upcoming season. The Leafs are still going to be hard to watch. We will have trouble scoring goals (unless Patrick Lalime is the opposing goaltender)and we will rack up at least 17 penalty minutes a night. We will not make the playoffs by any stretch of the imagination. But we will be hard to play against. Anyone moving into the slot for a shot will be punished. Our younger players will get every opportunity to play and learn on the job.

July 7, 2009:
The news just keeps on rolling. Highly coveted Swedish netminder, Jonas "The Monster" Gustavsson, has signed a one-year entry-level deal with the Maple Leafs. Gustavsson is widely regarded as "the best goalie not playing in the NHL" and was between the pipes for the Swedish national team. He will play backup to Toskala, but has a good shot at taking over the number 1 spot if Toskala puts up numbers like last season's, where he played through hip and groin injuries.

Buffy Summers vs. Edward Cullen

Opera 10 Beta 1

Dang, it's fast.
I will be reviewing this upgrade after about a week or two. Ongoing notes after the jump.


Design

• New UI Skin, being worked on by the venerable Jon Hicks, better known as the designer of the Firefox/Thunderbird brand.
• The standard skin is pleasant, and not garish. There is a bit of a Leopard vs. Vista feel when comparing the two.
• In return for all the functionality cues Chrome takes from Opera, 10.0 buttons resemble Chrome's.
• Mild design oversights that should be ironed out in the weeks to come. The address bar has a Jay Leno (2-3 extra pixels along the bottom edge, forming a "chin")
• Visual Tabs: pull down the Tab Bar expander to show live previews of open tabs. Can also be activated by double-clicking the pull tab (which I prefer), or turn it off entirely. OMNIWeb and Windows 7 inspired?
• There seems to be a pixel shaved off the right edge of my scroll bars
• An updated snapshot build of the Beta rectifies many of the issues above. They've been stricken from the list.

Function

• Hot diggity it is fast compared to 9.64. I don't care much for benchmarks, but something under the hood is whipping through page rendering.
• Benchmarks show beta 10.0 is slower than Chrome 2.0 and Firefox 3.5 beta 4 in synthetic tests. Chrome, Firefox and Safari are definitely the front-runners in terms of rendering/scripting speed. Browsing speed, however, is more than just benchmark performance. Good to see so much competition though!
• Configurable Speed Dial: up to 25 Speed Dials available now, going from 2x2 to 5x5 configurations, with wide-screen options (4x3, 5x4). Choose your own background.
• The one function I missed the most when I switched from Firefox to Opera back in 2007, was in-line spell-checking. Opera 10 has finally added it to its extensive repertoire.
• Opera Unite beta is rolled into the latest snapshot build of the Beta. It allows for some direct P2P sharing, and treating your computer like a file share with select people, with zero configuration. Accessible through browsers other than Opera. More info.

"It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison"

Most of my 3 readers will not enjoy this.

I like animals. They're all really amazing in the way they interact with one another, what they can do and how they're built to do it well.

Today, I came across a creature so unique in the niche that it fills, and so bizarre, that I just had to share it. Honestly, it's so weird I've put it on my list of questions to ask God.

It's also really gross, so you'll have to see what I mean after the jump.

This is Cymothoa exigua displayed in a cut-away of the jaws of a Spotted Rose Snapper. It is not being eaten. On the contrary, cymothoa exigua is the one doing the eating.

It is a parasite about 3-4 cm long when fully grown. They live in the ocean waters off the coast of California. They infiltrate the buccal cavity of Spotted Rose Snappers by way of the gills, or mouth, and latch onto the base of the fish's tongue. Their first three sets of claws are used to puncture and extract blood from the tongue, nourishing the parasite. After some time, the tongue atrophies due to the lack of blood and falls away, leaving behind a stub. Cymothoa exigua then latches onto the tongue-stub and replaces the fish's tongue, both in location and function. It continues its existence feeding on blood, or the mucous lining from the mouth. The common name for cymothoa exigua is the tongue louse.

The more pragmatic among us can see how this is a pretty sweet deal for the tongue louse. The human equivalent is like living the rest of your life in a pink minivan, with food in front of your face all day, and a constant flow of water washing away whatever waste you produce. You're sheltered from the elements, hidden from natural predators (except for the ones that eat pink minivans) and you get to see the world every other second. Chances are, your friends have found other pink minivans to shack up in and you guys can travel together.

The Plan: Execution

Remember last October, when I gave a fairly detailed write-up of my plan to upgrade my computer? A great deal of it turned out to be an accurate assessment, so I am really glad I waited for this latest iteration of MacBook Pros.

Back in the heyday of PowerPC Mac notebooks, there were two distinct model lines: PowerBooks and iBooks. The PowerBooks, predecessor to the MacBook Pro, were metal and awesome and came in three sizes: 12", 15" and 17". The iBooks, granddaddy of the white MacBooks, were plastic-chic, oddly adorable and came in 14" and 12" versions.

As of this Monday, the MacBook lineup returned to its roots and separated the Pro/non-Pro lineup with the same visual distinction: plastic vs. metal. The MacBook now only refers to the white plastic notebook. The Pros come in three sizes: 13", 15" and 17". The MacBook Air still exists, making all other notebook computers feel fat and unpretty. On top of that, Apple did what I never thought it would do -- cut prices.

Back in October, my decision between MacBook Pro 15" and MacBook 13" hinged on a few things: screen quality, affordability, backlit keyboard and battery life. Today's MacBook Pro 13" answers all those requirements while costing less than the base model MacBook of late 2008. It comes with an improved (Pro-level) screen, standard backlit keyboard, improved battery and SD CARD READER (finally). On top of that, it still qualifies for the Back to School steal deal.

It's going to happen. I'm just waiting for reviews to confirm screen quality improvements and then I'm off.

I'd hit that

So the softball bat that I was looking into getting, the Mizuno 2008 Frenzy 98, has been gotten. Not by me, though, but by the team! And on a pretty decent sale to boot.

Technically, I was looking for its sibling, the 2008 Mizuno Rusty Bumgardner Frenzy 98, but that one is not available in Canada at this time.

Now I get swing it =D Sweet.

Porcelain Philosophy 16: Irrational [in progress]

Who has ever been in a fight (especially with a significant other)?

By the power of sexist generalization, we can assume that such a fight will end something like this:

Male: "You're being irrational!"
Female: X[ *explodes

because males are primarily logical and females are primarily emotional, right? Thanks, antiquated beliefs.

Calling someone irrational is probably the worst way to argue a point, even if that person's reasons, or position, makes absolutely no sense to you. Calling a woman irrational because you believe she is only thinking emotionally is belittling her worth and dismissing her perspective.

In mathematics, there is a category of numbers considered Real. They can be quantified, they exist and their square roots are positive, rather than depressingly negative, like those Imaginary numbers.





Image courtesy of these guys.

I did it last night

I did it. The way kids in the schoolyard mean it.
I didn't really know what to expect.

I wasn't scared. Honestly, I was a little bit excited. Okay, fine, a lot excited.

I should've taken pictures.

Good thing other people did. I had a McGangbang.

For the uninitiated, this is a combination burger consisting of a McChicken sandwiched between the patties of a double cheeseburger. In certain McDonald's locations, the fame of the McGangbang as reached even the ears of the employees, to the point where you can order it by name.

There are variations of the McGangbang based on the variety in the McDonald's menu. Any chicken burger can be used: Jr. Chicken, McChicken, Crispy Chicken, Spicy Chicken, Chicken McGrill, etc. Any beef patty burger with two (or more) patties can be used for the sandwichers: Double Cheeseburger, Double Quarter Pounder (w/ cheese), Big Mac, etc.

In my haste to taste a McGangbang, I ordered whatever I could see: A McChicken meal (fries and Coke) plus a Double Quarter Pounder (w/ cheese) a la carte. It came out to a little over $12 CAN. Ridiculous. So worth it.

McDonald's Calorie Chart

Item	Calories	Fat (g)
Medium Fries	350	11
Medium Coke	210	0
Medium Coke (refill)	210	0
McChicken Burger	420	23
Double Quarter Pounder (w/ cheese)	730	25
TOTAL	1920	59

For your reference: the recommended daily intake of calories and fat for a male my size is 2400 to 2700 calories and less than 75 g of fat. In one sitting, I consumed 80% of my recommended daily caloric and fat intake.

The Writing of "Porcelain Philosophy 16: Irrational"

[28/05/09 13:45]
Got back on the writing horse. Now fleshing out the ideas. What tone should I use?

[16/05/09 10:52]
I should probably get back to finishing this piece. I was sidetracked by starting up Pokemon Platinum.

[05/05/09 15:30]
I have decided to make this a companion piece to the actual Porcelain Philosophy post, whereby I log changes I make to the actual post here. As it stands, that post currently does not exist. I should also reverse the order of these updates to make it easier for me.

[05/05/09 15:21]
I'm adding timestamps for those that are less steadfast in their clicking of refresh (use F5). As you can see, I am hard at work. Wait, that came out wrong.

[05/05/09 15:18]
[Links to be referenced:]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_number
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irrational_number
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_Are_From_Mars,_Women_Are_From_Venus

[05/05/09 15:09]
For nothing more than fun, I thought I'd publish this post instead of saving drafts so anyone logging lots of time on this blog can sort of see my writing in action. Also because I accidentally posted this placemarker post empty. This might also break the RSS feed readers.

Let's get crazy. [Cheesy intro]


[05/05/09 15:09]
armpit!

Man vs. Machine

It is one of the most common themes in literature to have sprung forth from the Industrial Revolution. Humans have a deep-seated fear of becoming obsolete in the face of a superior force.

The Most Frustrating Thing

"I-- I don't think I can do this..."

"What's the matter, hon?" She grabbed a napkin to wipe her mouth.

"I just don't think I can do it tonight... it's not happening." His face was flushed with embarassment as he turned away.

"Hey -- look at me -- it's okay." She turned his head by his chin. "Let's just try again tomorrow."

"ARGH! It's so-- ARGH! frustrating when I can't..."

"Shh, shh... I know, dear. It's okay... it's okay." She reached up to stroke his furrowed brow, to run her fingers through his hair. He was perspiring.

"We waited a whole week to do this!"

"I know, I know. It's okay if you can't... This doesn't make you any less of a man."


"Actually, yes, I think it does!"

"You're just frustrated right now. Why don't we take a break and try again in a little bit? Or I can help--" She reached down.

"No. No." He caught her hand and gently pushed it away. "I'm sorry. It's just something I have to overcome mentally."

"Was it something you had for lunch? I don't know why this time is any different from all the other times..." She picked up the discarded wrapper and crumpled it.

"I guess I'm just not as young as I once was. I have to work a little harder now."

"Well, don't hurt yourself. Like I said, it's okay to try again tomorrow."

"I think it's because it got cold."

"I could warm it back up for you."

"I think it'll be alright. I'll just get some ketchup."

"Yeah, that should help."

"This is so embarassing. I mean, how often is a guy unable to finish all of his onion rings?"

That's very informative!

In lieu of actually writing my own post-material, I'd like to share this gorgeous piece of work with you.


Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

Future Sight

I'm a terrible person to watch movies with. Especially in theatres.
This is because I like predicting what will happen next...


and then telling anyone within earshot what my guess is.

It goes a little something like this:
[***SPOILER ALERT***]
Spider-Man ACT II
In a heated argument with his Uncle Ben, the man who took him in after his parents were tragically killed in an accident, Peter Parker blurts out (with teenagey angst), "You're not my father!" and leaves his uncle at a loss for words.

me: Too bad that's the last thing he'll say to his uncle.
theatre neighbour: WHAT?!

A few scenes later, a botched mugging results in this prediction* coming true.
*granted I was already familiar with the Spider-Man backstory and the tragic death of his father-figure that spurred Peter towards vigilante heroism.
[***END SPOILER ALERT***]

Every story has a pattern and every genre has conventions it follows. I like it when I'm right; I'm also delighted when my expectations are subverted. Win-win for me. Sorry to all the people I've ever sat next to in a movie theatre.

Life is also full of patterns and conventions, infinitely harder to decipher and decrypt. It continues to surprise me.

Is this something we should all be discussing?

It's that time of year again

when the birds fill the air with their call,
when the snow begins to thaw.
the chill in the air abates and
the Sun breaks through overcast greys.

It is March;
there will be rain.

i have never wanted to be a Power Ranger more

my co-worker, who is all sorts of awesome, informed me about this after a brief discussion about the destructive merits of the Karate Chop (a 50 base power Fighting attack that has a higher chance of a Critical Hit).




yeah, i know there haven't been many posts lately.
i'm not dead; i just have a life.

How to Survive Valentine's Day if You're Single

Since this is not applicable to all the people who read this blog, I've posted something else after the jump.

success!

i gained ten pounds!

Is this real life?

I saw this video linked by my favourite film critic. I watched it 7 times.

Porcelain Philosophy 15: WoW

Do you sometimes find yourself saying, "Wow, I'm in the middle of a story"? Perhaps you're the prince of Denmark, and you suspect that your mother, in collusion with your uncle, committed regicide to claim the throne; or you wanted to visit your grandmother (who lived deep in the woods) to show off your brand new bright red riding hood. Whatever the case may be, those narratives exist and resonate with us for a reason. Identifying the right story can provide cues on how to proceed. While you're at it, watch Stranger Than Fiction.

The past few weeks have alternated between monotonous routine and sublime substantiations of things to come. In movie form, the monotony will be edited into a brief montage. The story I'm living in can be found in Matthew 14:22-33.


The story came up in Sunday school three weeks ago. I went in early to pick a seat, but ended up getting pulled out to help set up some technical stuff across the hall and wound up late for class. The teacher sat next to the door, so everyone faced the only entrance to the room.

I ended up standing around outside for a good 20-30 minutes. When kids walked by and asked why I was standing there for, I told them I got in trouble. Some gave me disapproving glances; others contemplated their own troublemaking ways and hopefully decided to turn a new leaf. I made that last part up.

When I finally screwed up the courage to waltz in (i.e. during an opportune passage reading), I bumped into the door frame and totally made a lot of noise. They were reading about Jesus walking on the water (I spent the entire reading looking up the passage). Apparently, that class was going to be about Peter, because the first question that was asked was, "Did Peter fail for sinking?"

To which I replied, most assuredly not. Of the Twelve on the boat, did anyone else try? In addition, he actually took several steps before complying with the laws of Physics and succumbing to his fears.

'Failure' is a fact of fallen life: our paths we walk are littered with pitfalls and stumbling blocks; (jumping metaphors now) the waters we navigate roil with storms and waves. Regardless of what we do, we will trip, we will fall, we will sink and we will end up covered in a lot of salty water. But the primary tenets of love, grace, mercy, healing and forgiveness all speak to getting up after we fall and trying to do better the next time. We are not Jedi, in which it is "Do or do not; there is no try." True failure is refusing to try for fear of falling.

So what's my part in this story?

Important events are coming to a head and I will not be in transition any longer. It's time to climb out of the boat, the little comfortable hovel of safety and routine I've built for myself, and take steps forward with my eyes on the prize. I will fall and I will sink, but I know who will pick me up when I do.

This story came up again the following week in a sermon from a guest speaker entitled "How to Walk on Water". If I wasn't sure about what was being said to me the first week, this was reinforcement. Except that I was sure, and it was more like a brick in the face.

Absolutes

Even in a world of relativism, there are still some immutable moral truths that cannot be denied.

it's f-f-frickin' f-freezing

It's so cold that my car windows were frosted on the inside this morning. I drove to work with about 65-84% windshield visibility during the course of the commute. The brakes were stiff, the door sensors were registering false positives, and everything looks like a metaphor for obscured vision.

What gets your engine going?

So this guy gets carjacked over the weekend by gun toting youth, losing his BMW, cash and cellphone. While commiserating over beverages, one clever friend sends the stolen cellphone a text message promising attractive women and recreational drugs to lure the thieves out into the open. Needless to say, instead of attractive women and recreational drugs, the witless thieves rendezvous-ed with Columbus, Ohio's finest.

Let's sidestep the commentary on the state of today's world and go straight to the personal questions: What would the text message have to say for you to come out and play?


I'd fall for any of the following:
"Yo, I just trained up a Lucario. Want to battle?"
"OMG this is the best burger ever!"
"BSG marathon tonight."
"I got hockey tickets!"
"Three words: Jeopardy! in. HD."

Happy 2009

For posterity, I will record what I did in the first few hours of this new year.

Cheers with friends and faux champagne

I Swear

Pop Goes My Heart

Poker winning

A fox crossed the road