heart up my sleeves

Jamaican Jesus-fish friendship bracelet

Pokémon of the Week

POKEDEX name: ARON number: 304 type: Steel/Rock height: 1'4"/ 0.4 m weight: 132 lb./ 60.0 kg characteristic: rock head - prevents recoil damage; sturdy - protected against one-hit KO attacks evolutions: aron --lv.32--> lairon --lv.42--> aggron Ruby: This POKéMON has a body of steel. To make its body, ARON feeds on iron ore that it digs from mountains. Occasionally, it causes major trouble by eating bridges and rails. Sapphire: ARON has a body of steel. With one all-out charge, this POKéMON can demolish even a heavy dump truck. The destroyed dump truck then becomes a handy meal for the POKéMON.

base stats: HP:50 AT:70 DE:100 SA:40 SD:40 SP:30

POTW was late and no one noticed...
cute pokémon get more commentary attention. cute pokémon it is.
ARON!!! the cutest ball of swiss metal and rock around.

unevolved pokémon are generally weak, yet aron boasts a formidable defense, coupled with the generally highly defensive rock and steel type, and a decent attack. alas, the hit points, speed and special defence are woeful to the max - or min, as it were.

its move selection is nice and diverse, generally offensive attacks. unfortunately it also learns all the good special attacks that are rather not useful on a pokémon with such a low special attack stat. however, it does have a nice surprise effect when a graveller is trying to earthquake him but gets wiped out by a water pulse instead. note: arons are all slower than gravellers, save for paralysis and quick claws.

you know what's awesome? the rock head characteristic. it prevents recoil damage from attacks that are saddled with recoil, i.e. take down, double-edge. and aron can learn both. take down blows, but double edge is totally sweet. 120 power, normal type, 100% accuracy, 15 PP, but deals 1/3 of the damage dealt to the opponent to yourself in recoil damage. but with rock head, recoil is negated! yippee!!! thus, rock head + double-edge is a must on aron and all it's evolved forms.

Movesets

aron @ scope lens
characteristic: rock head
personality: adamant (+ATT, -SPA)
double-edge, earthquake, aerial ace, metal claw
adamant is one of the most useful personalities, skewing offensive stats to one end (physical). which is why all the attacks listed are physical and run off the attack stat. double-edge has already been explained. earthquake is a solid and accurate attack (100 pwr, 100% acc., 10 PP, ground move). aerial ace is a reliable attack that never misses so long as the opponent is on the screen (60 pwr, 20 PP, flying move) to nail pesky fighting types that aron happens to be 4X weak to. metal claw (50 pwr, 95% acc., 35 PP, steel move) is the only attack that runs off STAB, multiplying its power by 1.5, and has a wonderful 10% chance for the side effect of an attack boost. scope lens raises the chance of a critical hit, which doubles the attack power of that move.

next week... mmm... i don't know. someone pick one.

short skirt/long jacket

i want a girl with mind like a diamond
i want a girl who knows what's best
i want a girl with shoes that cut and-uh
eyes that burn like cigarettes

i want a girl with the right allocations
who's fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack
she's playing with her jewelery; she's putting up her hair
she's touring the facility and picking up slack

i want a girl with a short skirt
and a long jacket

i want a girl who gets up early
i want a girl who stays up late
i want a girl uninteruppted prosperity
who uses a machete to cut through red tape

with fingernails that shine like justice
and a voice that is dark like tinted glass
she is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack
she is touring the facility and picking up slack

i want a girl with a short skirt
and a long, long jacket

i want a girl with a smooth liquidation
i want a girl with good dividends
at city bank we will meet accidentally
we'll start to talk when she borrows my pen

she wants a car with a cupholder armrest
she wants a car that will get her there
she's changing her name from kitty to karen
she's trading her MG for a white, chrysler labaron

i want a girl with a short skirt
and a long jacket

roadtrip

all times approximate

1000: picked up by arthur + perry
1018: picked up jacqueline
1023: sweet pea hand sanitizer
1030: picked up daniel
1120: edgewood!
1124: edgewood tour; pond!
1203: sup, pastor fred?
1241: guelph-bound
1326: wendy's lunch: jr. bacon cheeseburger(X2), biggie coke, leftover frosty
1415: university of guelph
1441: residence microwave finds a penny on its turn tray
1456: guelph bookstore
1514: toronto-bound
1539: wheeeeeeeeeee
1600: stuck in traffic
1615: perry dropped off
1624: home

comments:
- sweet pea = :)
- frosties make cokes bland
- a full car with 3/5 of the occupants fresh from eating chili nachos = :- arthur's girlfriend is NOT sandra :'( poor sandra.
- daniel was traumatized by children running across a street willy-nilly
- where is enrique's mole now?

children

"Her-man. You should email [Avril] everyday. That's how you get someone to marry you. You should marry Avril. Then you could be rich... and when you need to wipe your butt you won't have to, you just get the maid to do it for you."

"Herman, what colour is your underwear?"

"Why don't you watch wrestling? I like it when the blood pours down their faces. Then I know how Jesus felt when he was being crucified. What is more painful, wrestling or being crucified like Jesus?"

the girliest thing

reading a maragret atwood novel while taking a strawberry kiwi herbal foam bubble bath and wearing a fruit extract-with revitalizing minerals and vitamin formulae-pore opening facial mask with a towel wrap on to keep the freshly streaked hair dry while resting your neck on a folded purple terry cloth bath towel.

bad dream

Pokémon of the Week

POKEDEX name: NUMEL number: 322 type: Numb height: 2'4"/ 0.7 m weight: 53 lb./ 24.0 kg characteristic: oblivious - is not affected by ATTRACT evolutions: numel --lv.33--> camerupt Ruby: NUMEL is extremely dull witted - it doesn't notice being hit. However, it can't stand hunger for even a second. This POKéMON's body is a seething cauldron of boiling magma. Sapphire: NUMEL stores magma of almost 2,200 degrees F within its body. If it gets wet, the magma cools and hardens. In that event, the POKéMON's body grows heavy and its movements become sluggish.

base stats: HP:60 AT:60 DE:40 SA:65 SD:45 SP:35

due to popular demand, i present to you, numel. the numb camel. this is the first potw featuring a pokémon from ruby/sapphire. numel is the unevolved form of camerupt, one of the few new fire types available in RS. it has an intriguing type mixture, fire/ground. it neutralizes fire's weakness to rock and ground's weaknesses to ice and grass. unfortunately it compounds their collective weakness to water.

for an unevolved pokémon, numel boasts fair enough stats, leaning more to attacking than defending. a high-ish attack and special attack lends itself to using attacks from both types for STAB. by sheer charity, numel learns both flamethrower and earthquake! the pokégods smile upon this dopey pokémon. and it can learn body slam through breeding (w/ torkoal)!

unfortunately the rest of the moves available to numel are somewhat blah, and considering his weak defenses, numel cannot be expected to last long, nor can camerupt. with such low defenses and speed in an attack happy RS environment, there isn't much chance for setup. numel is probably better off as a fun pokémon for in-game play, as the elite five sport both ice and steel types, both suseptible to a numellian assault. onto the movesets...

numel @ quick claw; body slam, amnesia, flamethrower, earthquake
personality: relaxed (+DEF, -SPD)
train for max attack, half max special defense and half max special attack.
quick claw to maybe correct that woeful speed and the chance for paralysis from body slam will aid that cause. amnesia will maybe help numel live a little longer, or survive a pesky bubble (any water attack more powerful will faint numel no matter what =P).

numel @ scope lens; focus energy, body slam, overheat, earthquake
personality: sassy (+SDE, -SPD)
train for max attack, max defense
scope lens + focus energy for boosted critical hit rate. overheat is more or less one-time use because of that special attack drop. probably saved for skarmories and other steel types with no special defense. body slam for a chance for paralysis and speed drop, earthquake for a solid STABed attack.

The Poopie List

GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!

amsterdam

come on, oh my star is fading
i swerve out of control
if i, if i'd only waited
i'd not be stuck here in this hole

come here, oh my star is fading
and i swerve out of control
and i swear i waited and waited
i've got to get out of this hole

but time, is on your side
it's on your side, now
not pushing you down
and all around
it's no cause for concern

come on, oh my star is fading
and i see no chance of release
i know i'm dead on the surface
but i am screaming underneath

and time is on your side
it's on your side, now
not pushing you down
and all around
oh, it's no cause for concern

stuck on the end
of this ball and chain
and i'm on my way back down

stood on the edge
tied to a noose
sick to the stomach
you can say what you mean
but it won't change a sin
i'm sick of the secrets

stood on the edge,
tied to a noose
and you came along and you cut me loose
you came along and you cut me loose
you came along and you cut me loose

have you ever wondered what one gallon of Miracle Whip would look like?

i have. and it's beautiful.

i'm in love...

sunny days

a great and terrible woe has befallen me.
too crispy to be allowed to play hockey.

arachibutyrophobia

i had 8 peanut butter covered Premium(tm) soda crackers and she likes me.

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
- Charlie Brown (Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts)

Pokémon of the Week

POKEDEX name: NINETALES number: 38 type: Fox elements: Fire height: 3'7"/1.09 m weight: 44 lb./19.8 kg evolutions: vulpix -fire stone-> ninetales Gold: Some legends claim that each of its nine tails has its own unique type of special mystical power. Silver: Its nine beautiful tails are filled with wondrous energy that could keep it alive for 1,000 years.

base stats: HP:73 AT:76 DE:75 SA:81 SD:100 SP:100

oooh, foxy. ninetales is hot. can i say that? i think it's the tails. or maybe because it's a fire type. ha. ha. haaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

ninetales is a special attacker, as you can see in it's stats. like all stone evolutions, ninetales learns nothing, so it'd be wise to train it as vulpix for the moves. unfortunately, fire types don't get too much support from other moves, and are weak to common moves like Surf and Earthquake and Ancientpower. as it were, ninetales is not built for stamina, but speed and to wreak a bit of havoc on any setups (i.e. scizor baton pass). for all its beauty, ninetales is a bit of a kamikaze. it is best used as a starter, or perhaps after you take out the earthquaker and surfer and rock slider and generally anything that uses physical attacks.

so we'll look at a few possible movesets. annoyance/stall and starter. the moveset section will now look a bit different. actually, it's looked different each time so, meh.

Annoyance/Stall:
Ninetales @ brightpowder: Confuse Ray, Attract, Flamethrower, Dig
confraction will give the opponent a 75% chance of being incapacitated. dig will dodge attacks and do a bit of damage if you're stuck against a golem or something. flamethrower for a nice and heavy attack. brightpowder for that little extra help in avoiding attacks.

Starter
Ninetales @ Focus Band: Fire Blast, Roar, Confuse Ray, Sunny Day
a nice way to ruin early baton passing chains. starter scizor? roar or toast him! starter alakazam? confuse ray and switch out! sunny day will boost fire blast and will halve any pesky water attacks. focus band for luck, so you can actually pull off that roar or one final fire blast before you kick the bucket.

Gravitational Distortions Slow Learning

Intriguing new evidence a new cause for worry over obese children

By now it is obvious that fat children are just as susceptible to all the woes of the adult obese. Heart failure, high blood pressure, diabetes, and chronic lower back ailments from supporting girth are just a few of the numerous afflictions the obese must deal with other than soaring fast food prices and the massive influx of new, healthy menus that are so unfilling that one must order in double digits to satiate the hunger pangs.

Now new research has shown, in a recent study of elementary school students in Gallup, New Mexico, that fat kids slow the learning curves of students in their vicinity.

Fat kids are no longer merely dangers to themselves (and the hands that feed them), but to their friends and colleagues around them.

"We can't consider these results to be completely conclusive until we've studied a wider sample group," comments Dr. Fatima Azibarjan, lead researcher in the study and expert on lipidous physiology, "but the initial research is disconcerting."

fat kids slow the learning curves of students
Research began as an attempt to quantitize the variables that lead some students to become potential spelling bee winners. Once they began to look into grade 1 students' learning environments, they quickly noticed that spellers were generally at least one or two desks away from a fat child.

"Basically, we figure it works like this: the brain, at this age, is constantly making new neural connections, learning. But the gravitational exertions of a nearby fat kid throws the whole process for a loop. The result is an extremely inefficient use of brain space," says Dr. Azibarjan.

In laymen's terms, fat kids make skinnier kids stupider.

[report card] comments such as "needs improvement" and "unsatisfactory"...
"I sat behind Wilbert," Karmel Poulk chimes, "and it seemed to take longer for me to grasp complicated concepts in class, such as cursive writing. Perhaps it was because I cannot see the board so well."

A petite, bright-eyed young girl, Karmel consistently finds disappointment in her report cards. Comments such as "needs improvement" and "unsatisfactory" really push her self-esteem down and she must find her consolation in buying mushrooms.

Fortunately for Karmel, there is still hope.

"Parallel to this study, we're experimenting with new desk positions to try to take advantage of this phenomenon," says astronomer, Pitor Selenovski. "Just as we can slingshot around planets, using gravitational energy to our advantage, the theory is that we can also 'slingshot' neural connections by arranging the desks in strategic locations. A sort of gravitational lensing, to focus the mind and speed the learning curve."

The results are promising so far.

"In my new seat, I can now see the board."

Hottie of the Month

time for a new gimmick blog post. hottie of the month! w00t! this is where we (i) sift through a copious amount of applicants and after rigourous interviewing, one is selected to be the hottie of the month.

Name: Delfina Cabrera (not real, of course)

H:describe the perfect guy for you.
D:LOL alright... starting from head to toe =P
"cool" hair (black with highlights and weird, yet cool stuff), glasses!!!!! =P, biggggggggg smile, not a giraffe neck, broad shoulders, muscles..harhar.., abs baby, boxers, low-riser (but not too low), doesn't wear short shorts, or pants that are too small for him and wears FAT shoes

H:what do you think of shoelaces?
D:hmmm, well...they're quite useless.

H:how about ice cream?
D:hummm, they're delicious. especially mint chocolate ice cream with bananas. *droooooools* however, FATTENING!!!

H:mm... fat. which body part on everyone is generally too fat?
D:the errr...stomach? or whatever that part is called.

H:if you could give that part a name, what would you call it instead?
D:ummmm... blubber? lol

H:cool. thanks for the interview.
D:anytime.

Pokémon of the Week

POKEDEX name: HERACROSS number: 214 type: singlehorn elements: Bug/Fighting height: 4'11"/1.50 m weight: 119 lb./53.55 kg evolutions: none Gold: This powerful pokémon thrusts its prized horn under the enemies' bellies then lifts and throws them. Silver: Usually docile, but if disturbed while sipping honey, it chases off the intruder with its horn.

base stats: HP:80 AT:125 DE:75 SA:40 SD:95 SP:85

now "Pokémon of the Week" since "Pokémon of the Month" takes too long.

heracross is nifty sumo-bug with decent stats and an interesting type mixture. the first thing you'll note is how easily this guy gets slaughtered by any fliers. but that's not too big a deal, what with all the ice beams, thunderbolts and rock slides floating around.

depending on the moveset, heracross can be a tank, or a kamikaze cannon. given the right circumstances, heracross can push just about anything over. and it learns the strongest bug attack in the existence of pokémon.

Moveset 1: @ scope lens earthquake megahorn hidden power (rock) return/hyper beam

smash stuff and smash them lots. megahorn is the beefy bug attack, great for polishing off disabled psychics and grass types and mad STAB. earthquake is a staple attack for any smasher and helps get rid of some fire types. hidden power (rock) to surprise those fliers on the swtich in. return (or frustration) is a nice strong attack for regular beating. or you could go with hyper beam for more oomph. attached scope lens for higher chance of critical hits.

Moveset 2: @ focus band counter endure reversal take down

this is a more specialized moveset, with counter and take down to help lower hp to add power to reversal. endure to eat up drill pecks and fire blasts also to power up reversal. let's hope you're faster than the other. focus band in case you mis-time an attack and hope you get lucky. not to be deployed until the psychic or flier or other fast pokémon are gone.

vote breloom

June 28 = federal election day! whoopee! also enrollment day for 1st and 4th years at UTSC. guess which one will take precedence? my bet is on frosh utsc enrollment. froshies are notoriously anal. even in backwater educational communities like utsc.

was herman an anal frosh? is herman ever anal about anything? how the heck can he be so laid back?

well, my friends, that's because my utmost concern at almost every hour is this: which pokemon should i substitute into my battle tower team to crack 300 wins? the record is at 250-something and that's with a one-smash-two-stall team (level 50). not too amusing. i managed to string 91 wins with breloom (spore, focus punch, leech seed, sludge bomb), wailord (water spout, fissure, double team, rest) and latios (psychic, thunderbolt, ice beam, dragonclaw) in level 100. stupid lucky heracross. maybe something with flamethrower. or a flier. latios no likey salac berry + megahorn. salamence can learn flamethrower AND aerial ace. hm... ice beam death.

but i digress.

right. elections. voting. federal voting! wha. i spelled feceral voting by mistake, seeing as how the [c] and the [d] keys are so close. an apt interpretation of the governing system if you ask me. heh. feces. i'll vote for the deep, chocolate-brown, right-wing, ex-steak turd who promises sweeping changes to national sewage systems and looks to have a bit of a hitler-stache. hm.

here's an overview of our political landscape...
the Liberal Party (or as they've been dubbed in ontario, the fiberals - nothing to do with extra wheat grain in their diet):
ah, 11 years of majority government at the federal level. it gets to your head after awhile, seeing as how i do not really recall any other party in power in all my years. granted i was about 7 during Kim Campbell's brief tenure as prime minister. (avril phaedra campbell?! i wonder if she had a sk8r b0i too.)

and indeed, during all these years i have yet to figure out what the Liberals actually stand for, what their policies are, and why they're so obsessive about quebec.

so i did some digging (click name link!!) and found their fancy domain name and website. i scanned their policy page and came to my conclusion. the name of the liberal game is to be VAGUE. and red. most of what they want to do is great, but they just never get around to doing it. who can blame them? they're people too.

the Conservative Party, formerly known as the Progressive Conservative and Canadian Alliance (formerly known as the Canadian Reform-Alliance (formerly known as the Alliance and Reform parties) Party) Parties : i keep waiting for Stephen Harpur to announce to the country that it has all been a big joke, a reality-tv stunt and that the real slim shady has always been and forever will be Preston Manning.

what started out as one of the first political parties in Canada has evolved and generally degenerated (not entirely out of age) into a motley crew of west central politians.

i was really hoping that Belinda Stronach would win the leadership.

but alas, another dream dashed
on the battlefield of Canadian politics.

the New Democratic Party: Alexa McDonough > Jack Layton.

Le Bloq Quebequois: where did Lucien Bouchard go?