TES:
[.] Portfolio (HUGE) - Due: Thursday April 10
[.] Problem-Based Unit (Portion) - Due: Thursday April 17
SS:
[.] Research Paper (Large-ish) - Due: Thursday April 17
[.] Presentation (Portion) - Due: Thursday April 10
PHY:
[.] Unit Test (meh) - Due: Friday April 11
ENG:
[.] Article Summary/Discussion (meh) - Due: Tuesday April 8
[.] Read short story + poem (meh) - Due: Tuesday April 8
on a whim, i decided to have a good day today.
it was icy from the previous day's freezing rain, i had intended to wake up early and leave early. i woke up later than i wanted to. i left the house later because my mom thought i should have more lunch; you can never have too much lunch. i drove slower over the icy snowy patches of road. i decided to turn onto McNicoll from Middlefield because the usual route of Huntingwood to McCowan was likely treacherous. McNicoll was virtually ice-free, so i thought i could make up some time. though it was ice-free, it was not police-free and i fell into my first ever speed-trap and got my first ever speeding ticket. i felt like a real grownup =D
the officer was very courteous and professional, and i, in turn, was very nice and calmly contrite. he kindly lowered the noted speed from 18 km/hr to 10 km/hr above the 50 km/hr limit, setting me back only $40 and foregoing any issue with demerit points; i did not even have to ask. i highly recommend getting ticketed by this officer if you ever need to commit a minor infraction.
the remainder of the trip to McCowan station was uneventful and the RT made good time to Kennedy station. i picked the train with the most people in it, because when you see two trains at Kennedy, the one that has accrued more passengers is the one that has been there longer, and thus would be the one that leaves the station first. i stood there for an interval of time before the PA informed everyone that there was a train stoppage due to a track-level incident at Jarvis and that trains should start up again once that was cleared up, sorry for the delay and inconvenience. a couple of minutes later the PA informed everyone that there was a power outage at High Park due to a security breach and that they were sorry for the delay and inconvenience. as i contemplated whether or not to check the time while standing in a train that was starting to resemble a sardine can, the PA came on once more to inform us that trains would be turned around between Keele and High Park and between Kennedy and whatever station is next to High Park and that they were sorry for the delay and inconvenience. i thought it would be better if i didn't check the time.
the train ride was uncomfortably cramped, with most people standing precariously between handholds. i saw a woman fall into a girl's lap. i saw people squeezing into already cramped quarters and sucking in bellies to allow doors to close.
i hustled up to class and checked the time once i got into the room. it was 5 minutes past 8:30. after all that, i was only five minutes late and the class had not actually started yet.
after class, i sought to get some work done. i had brought my computer downtown so that i could do an assignment or two while waiting for my 3 o'clock class. there was an empty socket near a table and i snapped it up, brought out all my stuff, set up the computer to go and found that it was running off the battery. the socket was a dud and held no current. i packed everything back up and went up to the mezzanine floor (between 1st and 2nd) because there were individual study spaces up there that generally have sockets. i toured the entire floor; all the sockets were in either locked rooms or occupied rooms, i finally found one at the end of my circuit around the floor, right under a desk next to the stairwell door. beggers can't be choosers.
i did half an assignment and read a few chapters of the curious incident of the dog in the night-time (which is a really good book) and listened to Beethoven's 6th Symphony (which is a really good symphony). during that time, i briefly chatted with friends and colleagues that passed by. one had actually scheduled to meet me there through msn because she had missed yesterday's classes due to the ice.
i went to my 3 o'clock class at 2, because i like being early and i don't like being late. the room, which is noramlly filled with a 1 o'clock class, was empy. i decided to settle in to eat lunch and read some more. i was joined by another peer who had the same plan that i did. after awhile, i had to go pee. so i went to go pee.
by some inexplicable sequence of events, i bruised my left hand on the urinal.
when i returned to the classroom shortly thereafter, i chatted with the guy who was also there; he had tired of reading. after talking a bit about our respective placements, he tired of talking and took a nap. he was soon replaced by another student who felt much more inclined to chat and i repeated the same stories i told about my teaching placement that i had told about 17 times since tuesday.
after class dispersed at 5, i had to hustle to the station because i was slated to do an AV training at the church at 6, without incurring another ticket on the day. i arrived at about 6:03 to find that none of the trainees had arrived. as the wait progressed, it turned out most of the ones who were supposed to show up did not. due to the lower numbers (3), i was unable to do the cool illustrative games i had spent thursday night planning.
"dine and pray" was relaxing as usual, but it was only me and the LG, so we traded happy stories (i told some of this one) and then watched the pilot for Chuck.
after that i had dinner at the local fast food establishment, where we bumped into Dorcas and our mutual friend, whom i just had class with a few hours prior. i had a baconator and a baked potato, to which Yam kindly supplied a healthy dollop of chili.
i smiled because i didn't have to teach today; all my lessons were done.
i smiled because my evaluation was submitted; i had done well.
i smiled because i was happy to have made new connections and gained new friends.
i smiled because my students stopped on the way out to say goodbye and goodluck.
i smiled because it hid the pain of leaving.
last night, i met up with a troupe of classmates from my Drama Strategies course to watch Hannah Moscovitch's "East of Berlin" at the Tarragon Theatre. it was an elaborate dramatic monologue of the son of a Nazi war-criminal trying to cope with the revelation of the atrocities his father committed. i have to write a review on the production and this is my sounding board.
it was a rainy night and far colder than i anticipated. i had to downgrade to a thinner jacket because it was far more waterproof than the slightly warmer one i went out the door with. i parked at mccowan and made the trip to Dupont station without any difficulty.
i had drawn myself a small map of the area with instructions on how to get from Dupont to Tarragon Theatre. i did not account for the lack of accuracy of the official Tarragon website's map. so when i thought i was to turn, i did and found myself on a road not mentioned on that map. so i doubled back and headed north on Spadina some more, to Davenport. then i headed west until i made it to another street i completely did not recognize. thus, i wandered midtown after sundown on a rainy and windy night for a good half hour before i decided to ask for directions. seeing as how i was supposed to meet my instructor at 7:30 for the tickets, i thought it'd be a good idea to be as not-late as possible.
as i turned about George Brown College campus for approachable faces, i saw a small, squat building with the word Tarragon fitted to the side with a dim light casting ominous shadows over the name. i made my way into the cramped foyer and found my classmates. i repeated "it's going great! how's yours?" about 13 times to everyone who asked how my placement coming along. inside the actual theatre was even less space, so i made my way to the back (the top) by the AV booth. lo and behold, the AV guy that squeezed past just before the show started was Kevin, from elementary school and high school. hoimin - 5 : Facebook - 0.
the play itself was well executed and at times uncomfortably intimate. the set was essentially a large stage-wide bookshelf that pushed its way halfway up the stage. i was quite glad to have been sitting in the last row. there was one character (out of three) in the play with the same name as me, so i heard people calling 'me' or referring to 'me' the whole night.
it was a fairly lengthy work for three people to perform, the bulk of it going to the main character. the humour was well-timed and tastefully understated, the dialogue was believable and often times truncated by very telling emotion. the themes and questions were grandiose and far-reaching, but also at times extremely personal. whole worlds would collide in the interactions of two characters, as each one carried personal and national baggage beyond their comprehension.
the main character was played superbly, unfortunately overshadowing the slightly above-average performances of the other two. the soundscape was chillingly authentic in its minimalism, complemented by the lighting. scene changes and props logistics were marvelously fluid and natural. that was my favourite part.
yesterday, i paid my first credit card bill (ever). i had put off using it until september. i also took the car to get its oil changed since i had the day off. i'm feeling rather aged.
today was the first of two orientation days at my first placement of teachers college. i got all dressed up to differentiate myself from the students so that i wouldn't get kicked out of staff rooms and what not. for every first day of work i've ever had, i've worn my shiny red shirt. it's not actually shiny. i recently acquired some khaki Dockers and remembered that i had brown shoes and a brown jacket. before i knew it, i was dressed like this, sans suspenders and gun.
anyway, i met up and shadowed my Associate Teacher. turns out he also went to OISE, before it was called OISE and had the same physics instructor that i do now. he also did graduate work at UTSC so he knows my undergrad program coordinator there as well. we have eerily similar philosophies about teaching and about physics and he is much nerdier than i am with spreadsheets (i know!). he is definitely a polymath; not of the rote memorization sort, but rather the holistic everything-is-connected sort (which i also fancy myself as being). i think he'll appreciate having someone else to gadget-talk with; he is the department's resident tech consultant (which i usually get defaulted to in most cases).
last Thursday, a lady from student services at the school came to our class to brief us on what to expect for our practice teaching placements (practicums). much of it was usual stuff like police clearance to work in a vulnerable sector, checking with school administrators about parking situations, dress code, what to do if you get an associate teacher (the mentor) who foists all of his or her workload on to you from the get go, etc.
we were also warned about online issues. Facebook users were encouraged to set their profiles to private because students will inevitably look you up wherever they can (students who google me up will be in for a rude/pleasant surprise. i will probably have to lock down this blog for a brief period of time). instances of cyber-bullying have occured, among other things. we are also not to give out personal email addresses because some students will try to contact you out of adoration, or malice, depending on what sort of teacher you are. in her own words, "i remember falling in love with a student teacher when i was fifteen," so that made me feel icky for the rest of the day. so now, in addition to learning how to plan lessons, units, curricula and deal with the office politics and social situations that occur in school, i must also train myself to deflect misguided hormone missiles teenage puppy-love. i should get some bowling shirts.
since i've started attending OISE, i've picked up the very sketchy habit of surreptitiously checking people for wedding rings. this is because i got tired of being surprised when someone in class casually referred to his wife or her husband when sharing with the class. also to see if the ladies are single, naturally.
in undergrad, most people are coming directly out of high school with a handful of very obviously career-folk coming back to school for extra learning or qualification. in graduate school, the demographic is very diverse. fresh out of undergrad students are a minority in teachers college. a good block of my peers are moving on to teaching from other careers they've decided to leave behind, or are recently immigrated to Canada and are seeking qualifications for continuing their careers here.
a good number of people at school are about-to-be-married, married, raising children, sending their children through post-secondary studies etc. there is an eye-opening amount of experience congregated here. sometimes i wonder what i'm actually bringing to the table.
of all the courses i'm taking, physics is the one that scares me most. the workload seems to be building up momentum, without me having to actually hand anything in yet. all the preparation for those big assignments are like the shadows that loom ominously as a sign of impending danger. every physics class, while fun and engaging and thoroughly edifying, is another chance to freak out about the future and the possibility of failure. my expectations for myself as a teacher are high, but i clearly have not fully considered the steps necessary to achieving such lofty heights.
as i ate my lunch and did some reading, suddenly very motivated to do course readings and take notes and prepare for future assignments (thank you motivational fear), my mind wandered. my mind wandered to the animals in the courtyard in which i sat (Munk building, pointed out to me by Catherine) and so i watched them.
i watched a squirrel nibble on berries in the bush along the building wall. i watched it climb into a tree and confront the incumbent squirrel; they stared at each other for the longest time before parting ways to different branches of the tree. i watched the sparrows flit about, dipping their heads below the grassline to pick up unseen food. i watched them chirp and chatter to each other.
i had a muffin; it had nuts.
i couldn't finish the muffin, so i disassembled bits of the stump and casually scattered little bits around the bench (the 'bench' was actually a long cement block and i sit there to eat on sunny days). first at quite some distance away; then a little closer and closer and closer. one sparrow saw the first offering and swooped in for a bite. more arrived to feast, never fighting, but noone waiting in line.
i tried to get some to land on the bench next to me so i could see them more closely; it was too early in the relationship for that. they did not mind hopping close along the ground though. at one point, i had about 4 birds within 14 cm of my foot. i stopped seeding the ground with muffin crumbs for awhile, but about a dozen birds remained in the vicinity, hopping around, occasionally peering at me with inquiring gazes.
22 [...] "For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.
23 "For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.
24 "Consider the [sparrows], for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! [...]
29 "[Do] not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying.
30 "For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things.
31 "But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you." - Luke 12
today was my first official day of classes at OISE. i had physics in the morning (8:30) and english in the late afternoon (3:00). as is customary (and required by school policy), i was innundated with syllabi; every assignment, test, activity, mega-crazy group project was outlined with the mark and due date displayed.
i understand the reasoning behind giving out course outlines on the first day, going over course and school policies on behaviour, professionalism and plagiarism, but it makes it no less daunting. some of these assignments are not only massive, but very clearly above and beyond where i would guage my ability to be. for a couple of moments today, i contemplated freaking out (just a little bit) and considering other career options (birdwatching still very much in the picture).
fortunately, i've been reading ahead in my Psychological Foundations for Learning and Development class (which i will take for the first time next Thursday due to school policy regarding religious observances). Piaget surmised that learning and growth resulted from disequilibrium -- phenomena or situations that defy previously held schemes, beliefs -- forcing the mind to adapt and rethink and expand upon those old mental models to try and reach equilibrium again. learning is facilitated most readily in an environment that hits that sweet spot of disequilibrium: not too easy, not too hard.
this means getting uncomfortable and being unsatisfied with myself and striving for more out of myself. when first contemplating possible careers, i told myself that i would not want to do a performance related profession, like cooking, painting, acting, etc. naturally i chose the one career that makes you stand up in front of at least 60 people a day and interact with them in mindbogglingly creative, engaging and informative ways so that they can pursue fruitful careers and support their own livelihoods and the well-being of their families. no pressure. of course all of life is a performance and you'll always have someone watching over what you are doing and evaluating you. to prevent anxiety from taking me to an early grave, i must remember daily that i am performing for an audience of One (well, Three in One).
hopefully this will be reflected in my actions and choices as my instructors are taking the time to know their students personally with vested interest in our futures. it was somewhat surprising to find out that they followed the careers of the students they've taken under their wings quite religiously and it was totally encouraging; i am now full of courage.
new courage helps in first day situations. each class has 'forced' student interaction through a variation of the same icebreaking game: profile hunt. a certain quality or achievement is listed and you have to find a classmate who fits the profile (e.g. has at least two kids, fluently speaks at least 3 languages, has read at least one Harry Potter book). this forces us to talk to people and to try to get to know at least one thing about them.
i've played this game before and it can be done extremely shallowly if one so chooses. since these are going to be the people i am going to be stepping into the professional world with, i decided to strive for a little bit more than what was on the page. normally i abhor small talk, but it is much easier when you start by telling yourself, "i'm going to care about this person." then small talk is no longer small talk and it is big talk. as a result, i've made a new friend in my english class whom i can conveniently subway with on at least Tuesdays and Fridays because she lives in the east end around Tim and Viv, worked a summer with Edward "Mr. Technology" C. at Seneca, and is one of the bestest friends of Dorcas. i was struck dumb by the number of connections and amount of overlap with someone who was a complete stranger just seven hours ago. i so don't need Facebook.
you know what's a great way to start your first day of post-graduate education? waking up at 5 am because your alarm clock is screwy and changes the clock time if you change the alarm time too fast so i woke up an hour earlier than i wanted to on top of having trouble sleeping that night even though i tried to get to bed early in preparation of today's long day of lineups and information overload.
this year is going to plow past me so fast i will only really be ready for it after it has come and gone. first practicum in 6 weeks! Tuesdays and Fridays go from 8:30 to 10:30 and 3:00 to 5:00, one 2 hour lecture for each Teachable (English/Physics). Thursdays are the worst: 8:30 to 12:30 and 1:00 to 5:00 for a 4 hr Teaching Seminar and a 4 hr Psychology of Learning and Development lecture. Wednesdays are the best: 8:30 to 12:30 for my only elective, Drama Strategies for Teaching. everything is the same for next semester, except no class on Wednesdays and School and Society instead of psych. if anyone wants to hang out for lunch on TU/WE/FR, let me know.
chatted up some familiar faces (even one from high school, whom i've talked to maybe 2 times before) and got to know more recent ones a little better. don't actually know anyone in my cohort (YR/Durham region) yet. the new people that i did meet are all in different cohorts; slight chance i'll see them in a Teachable, if i remember what they look like and what their names are.
subwayed back to Scarborough with Helen, a UTSC classmate of the same program whom i only started talking to today, which made what would normally have been a snoozer of a trip rather pleasant. at every junction of the trip, i tried to gauge where the doors of the subways would stop by looking at the dirt patterns of the platforms and the arrayment of commuters (Psych powers) and got 2/3 tries; on the way to school this morning i guessed them all (2) correctly by intuition, which is cool but not as fun.
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