lost and found

i was printing something today when i noticed a notebook off to the side. i peeked inside. they were my high school notes from grade 12! sweet! free teacher resources! and look! doodles!!!!

click for more

words to hang my hat on

i had a bit of trouble in science class today. the lesson was fine, according to my associate teacher, but i felt like a bruised apple. it was very frustrating to have the students i've worked so hard to earn the respect of fritter away class time by disrupting things because i didn't know how to chorale them or focus their attention. hello, feelings of inadequacy. thanks for dropping by and ruining my life!

the educational assistant in the class (because it's a class that needs one) came over at the end of the period to debrief me on the guys who are the behavioural issues. usually, she tells me a bit about their backgrounds, and those stories are the ones you don't want to hear; they're really good kids and it kills me that this is their lot in life. today, she told me about a conversation she had with them because of today's antics.

"guys, you like mr. chan, right? you're smart; you know what effect your behaviour has and you know when you're crossing the line, so why do it? you're making him think it is his fault. this guy is brilliant and could be doing just about anything he wants, but he is choosing to be here to help give you guys a running start in life. don't you think he deserves a bit of your respect?"

damn well nearly made me cry on the spot.

how to have a good day

on a whim, i decided to have a good day today.

it was icy from the previous day's freezing rain, i had intended to wake up early and leave early. i woke up later than i wanted to. i left the house later because my mom thought i should have more lunch; you can never have too much lunch. i drove slower over the icy snowy patches of road. i decided to turn onto McNicoll from Middlefield because the usual route of Huntingwood to McCowan was likely treacherous. McNicoll was virtually ice-free, so i thought i could make up some time. though it was ice-free, it was not police-free and i fell into my first ever speed-trap and got my first ever speeding ticket. i felt like a real grownup =D

the officer was very courteous and professional, and i, in turn, was very nice and calmly contrite. he kindly lowered the noted speed from 18 km/hr to 10 km/hr above the 50 km/hr limit, setting me back only $40 and foregoing any issue with demerit points; i did not even have to ask. i highly recommend getting ticketed by this officer if you ever need to commit a minor infraction.

the remainder of the trip to McCowan station was uneventful and the RT made good time to Kennedy station. i picked the train with the most people in it, because when you see two trains at Kennedy, the one that has accrued more passengers is the one that has been there longer, and thus would be the one that leaves the station first. i stood there for an interval of time before the PA informed everyone that there was a train stoppage due to a track-level incident at Jarvis and that trains should start up again once that was cleared up, sorry for the delay and inconvenience. a couple of minutes later the PA informed everyone that there was a power outage at High Park due to a security breach and that they were sorry for the delay and inconvenience. as i contemplated whether or not to check the time while standing in a train that was starting to resemble a sardine can, the PA came on once more to inform us that trains would be turned around between Keele and High Park and between Kennedy and whatever station is next to High Park and that they were sorry for the delay and inconvenience. i thought it would be better if i didn't check the time.

the train ride was uncomfortably cramped, with most people standing precariously between handholds. i saw a woman fall into a girl's lap. i saw people squeezing into already cramped quarters and sucking in bellies to allow doors to close.

i hustled up to class and checked the time once i got into the room. it was 5 minutes past 8:30. after all that, i was only five minutes late and the class had not actually started yet.

after class, i sought to get some work done. i had brought my computer downtown so that i could do an assignment or two while waiting for my 3 o'clock class. there was an empty socket near a table and i snapped it up, brought out all my stuff, set up the computer to go and found that it was running off the battery. the socket was a dud and held no current. i packed everything back up and went up to the mezzanine floor (between 1st and 2nd) because there were individual study spaces up there that generally have sockets. i toured the entire floor; all the sockets were in either locked rooms or occupied rooms, i finally found one at the end of my circuit around the floor, right under a desk next to the stairwell door. beggers can't be choosers.

i did half an assignment and read a few chapters of the curious incident of the dog in the night-time (which is a really good book) and listened to Beethoven's 6th Symphony (which is a really good symphony). during that time, i briefly chatted with friends and colleagues that passed by. one had actually scheduled to meet me there through msn because she had missed yesterday's classes due to the ice.

i went to my 3 o'clock class at 2, because i like being early and i don't like being late. the room, which is noramlly filled with a 1 o'clock class, was empy. i decided to settle in to eat lunch and read some more. i was joined by another peer who had the same plan that i did. after awhile, i had to go pee. so i went to go pee.

by some inexplicable sequence of events, i bruised my left hand on the urinal.

when i returned to the classroom shortly thereafter, i chatted with the guy who was also there; he had tired of reading. after talking a bit about our respective placements, he tired of talking and took a nap. he was soon replaced by another student who felt much more inclined to chat and i repeated the same stories i told about my teaching placement that i had told about 17 times since tuesday.

after class dispersed at 5, i had to hustle to the station because i was slated to do an AV training at the church at 6, without incurring another ticket on the day. i arrived at about 6:03 to find that none of the trainees had arrived. as the wait progressed, it turned out most of the ones who were supposed to show up did not. due to the lower numbers (3), i was unable to do the cool illustrative games i had spent thursday night planning.

"dine and pray" was relaxing as usual, but it was only me and the LG, so we traded happy stories (i told some of this one) and then watched the pilot for Chuck.

after that i had dinner at the local fast food establishment, where we bumped into Dorcas and our mutual friend, whom i just had class with a few hours prior. i had a baconator and a baked potato, to which Yam kindly supplied a healthy dollop of chili.

advance to next checkpoint

i smiled because i didn't have to teach today; all my lessons were done.
i smiled because my evaluation was submitted; i had done well.
i smiled because i was happy to have made new connections and gained new friends.
i smiled because my students stopped on the way out to say goodbye and goodluck.
i smiled because it hid the pain of leaving.

gobsmacked

i have been given too many blessings to count. even in the most optimistic light i can hardly be considered deserving of any of these gifts.

my associate teacher just gave me everything he had on grade 12 Physics -- lesson plans, unit plans, assignments, previous tests, exams -- things that would normally take someone starting from scratch two or three years to develop and another five years to develop well. i did not ask him for it and i certainly have not earned it yet, seeing as how today was the second of two orientation days; i haven't even started my placement.

i have just been given 15 years worth of experience to do with as i please. i have been guided and molded, poked and prodded into someone with the passion, ability, and training to put it to good use.

this is the answer to my prayer for more land. this is the answer to my prayer for more responsibility, for more blessings, for more talents, so that i could do more and be more for God. with an answer like this, i have no need to fear inadequacy, nor worry about what trials may come.

so here is me, on the raggedy edge of the rest of my life, exactly where i should be.

all growed up

yesterday, i paid my first credit card bill (ever). i had put off using it until september. i also took the car to get its oil changed since i had the day off. i'm feeling rather aged.

today was the first of two orientation days at my first placement of teachers college. i got all dressed up to differentiate myself from the students so that i wouldn't get kicked out of staff rooms and what not. for every first day of work i've ever had, i've worn my shiny red shirt. it's not actually shiny. i recently acquired some khaki Dockers and remembered that i had brown shoes and a brown jacket. before i knew it, i was dressed like this, sans suspenders and gun.

anyway, i met up and shadowed my Associate Teacher. turns out he also went to OISE, before it was called OISE and had the same physics instructor that i do now. he also did graduate work at UTSC so he knows my undergrad program coordinator there as well. we have eerily similar philosophies about teaching and about physics and he is much nerdier than i am with spreadsheets (i know!). he is definitely a polymath; not of the rote memorization sort, but rather the holistic everything-is-connected sort (which i also fancy myself as being). i think he'll appreciate having someone else to gadget-talk with; he is the department's resident tech consultant (which i usually get defaulted to in most cases).

Taylor Mali - What Teachers Make

also titled: "Objection Overruled", or "If things don't work out, you can always go to law school"

By Taylor Mali

a fellow student shared this with my english class.



read-along! since it is transcribed, the structure is probably not as he wrote it, but my best approximation given what i might have done if i were the author.

He says the problem with teachers is,
"What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided
his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

[laughs]

He reminds the other dinner guests
that it's true what they say about teachers:
That those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

[laughs]

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the urge to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers,
Because we're eating, after all,
and this is polite conversation.

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor,
Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest), because you see,
I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking:
which is, if you ask for it,
then I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder
than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like
a Congressional medal of honor
and I can make an A- feel like
a slap in the face.
"How dare you waste my time
with anything less than your very best."

You want to know what I make?

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence.
"No, you cannot work in groups."
"No, you can't ask a question, so put your hand down."
"Why won't I let you go to the bathroom?
Because you're bored and you don't really have to go, do you?"

You want to know what I make?

I make parents tremble in fear
when I call home at around dinner time:
"Hi, This is Mr. Mali, I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about
something your son did today. He said,
'Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?'
And it was the noblest act of courage that I have ever seen."
I make parents see their children
for who they are and who they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids question. I make'm criticize.
I make'm apologize and mean it.
I make'm write, write, write, and then I make'm read.
I make'm spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful,
definitely beautiful, over and over again,
until they will never misspell either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And then hide it on their final drafts in English.

I make'm realize that if you got this [points to head]
then you follow this, [points to heart]
and if someone ever tries to judge you, based on what you make,
you give them this! [brandishes finger]

Let me break it down for you,
Let me break it down for you,
so you know what I say is true:
I make a [gorram] difference!
Now, what about you?

practically speaking

last Thursday, a lady from student services at the school came to our class to brief us on what to expect for our practice teaching placements (practicums). much of it was usual stuff like police clearance to work in a vulnerable sector, checking with school administrators about parking situations, dress code, what to do if you get an associate teacher (the mentor) who foists all of his or her workload on to you from the get go, etc.

we were also warned about online issues. Facebook users were encouraged to set their profiles to private because students will inevitably look you up wherever they can (students who google me up will be in for a rude/pleasant surprise. i will probably have to lock down this blog for a brief period of time). instances of cyber-bullying have occured, among other things. we are also not to give out personal email addresses because some students will try to contact you out of adoration, or malice, depending on what sort of teacher you are. in her own words, "i remember falling in love with a student teacher when i was fifteen," so that made me feel icky for the rest of the day. so now, in addition to learning how to plan lessons, units, curricula and deal with the office politics and social situations that occur in school, i must also train myself to deflect misguided hormone missiles teenage puppy-love. i should get some bowling shirts.

i think it's envy

since i've started attending OISE, i've picked up the very sketchy habit of surreptitiously checking people for wedding rings. this is because i got tired of being surprised when someone in class casually referred to his wife or her husband when sharing with the class. also to see if the ladies are single, naturally.

in undergrad, most people are coming directly out of high school with a handful of very obviously career-folk coming back to school for extra learning or qualification. in graduate school, the demographic is very diverse. fresh out of undergrad students are a minority in teachers college. a good block of my peers are moving on to teaching from other careers they've decided to leave behind, or are recently immigrated to Canada and are seeking qualifications for continuing their careers here.

a good number of people at school are about-to-be-married, married, raising children, sending their children through post-secondary studies etc. there is an eye-opening amount of experience congregated here. sometimes i wonder what i'm actually bringing to the table.

peace by piece of muffin

of all the courses i'm taking, physics is the one that scares me most. the workload seems to be building up momentum, without me having to actually hand anything in yet. all the preparation for those big assignments are like the shadows that loom ominously as a sign of impending danger. every physics class, while fun and engaging and thoroughly edifying, is another chance to freak out about the future and the possibility of failure. my expectations for myself as a teacher are high, but i clearly have not fully considered the steps necessary to achieving such lofty heights.

as i ate my lunch and did some reading, suddenly very motivated to do course readings and take notes and prepare for future assignments (thank you motivational fear), my mind wandered. my mind wandered to the animals in the courtyard in which i sat (Munk building, pointed out to me by Catherine) and so i watched them.

i watched a squirrel nibble on berries in the bush along the building wall. i watched it climb into a tree and confront the incumbent squirrel; they stared at each other for the longest time before parting ways to different branches of the tree. i watched the sparrows flit about, dipping their heads below the grassline to pick up unseen food. i watched them chirp and chatter to each other.

i had a muffin; it had nuts.

i couldn't finish the muffin, so i disassembled bits of the stump and casually scattered little bits around the bench (the 'bench' was actually a long cement block and i sit there to eat on sunny days). first at quite some distance away; then a little closer and closer and closer. one sparrow saw the first offering and swooped in for a bite. more arrived to feast, never fighting, but noone waiting in line.

i tried to get some to land on the bench next to me so i could see them more closely; it was too early in the relationship for that. they did not mind hopping close along the ground though. at one point, i had about 4 birds within 14 cm of my foot. i stopped seeding the ground with muffin crumbs for awhile, but about a dozen birds remained in the vicinity, hopping around, occasionally peering at me with inquiring gazes.

22 [...] "For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.
23 "For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.
24 "Consider the [sparrows], for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! [...]
29 "[Do] not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying.
30 "For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things.
31 "But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you." - Luke 12

and so i was reminded.

breaking ice

today was my first official day of classes at OISE. i had physics in the morning (8:30) and english in the late afternoon (3:00). as is customary (and required by school policy), i was innundated with syllabi; every assignment, test, activity, mega-crazy group project was outlined with the mark and due date displayed.

i understand the reasoning behind giving out course outlines on the first day, going over course and school policies on behaviour, professionalism and plagiarism, but it makes it no less daunting. some of these assignments are not only massive, but very clearly above and beyond where i would guage my ability to be. for a couple of moments today, i contemplated freaking out (just a little bit) and considering other career options (birdwatching still very much in the picture).

fortunately, i've been reading ahead in my Psychological Foundations for Learning and Development class (which i will take for the first time next Thursday due to school policy regarding religious observances). Piaget surmised that learning and growth resulted from disequilibrium -- phenomena or situations that defy previously held schemes, beliefs -- forcing the mind to adapt and rethink and expand upon those old mental models to try and reach equilibrium again. learning is facilitated most readily in an environment that hits that sweet spot of disequilibrium: not too easy, not too hard.

this means getting uncomfortable and being unsatisfied with myself and striving for more out of myself. when first contemplating possible careers, i told myself that i would not want to do a performance related profession, like cooking, painting, acting, etc. naturally i chose the one career that makes you stand up in front of at least 60 people a day and interact with them in mindbogglingly creative, engaging and informative ways so that they can pursue fruitful careers and support their own livelihoods and the well-being of their families. no pressure. of course all of life is a performance and you'll always have someone watching over what you are doing and evaluating you. to prevent anxiety from taking me to an early grave, i must remember daily that i am performing for an audience of One (well, Three in One).

hopefully this will be reflected in my actions and choices as my instructors are taking the time to know their students personally with vested interest in our futures. it was somewhat surprising to find out that they followed the careers of the students they've taken under their wings quite religiously and it was totally encouraging; i am now full of courage.

new courage helps in first day situations. each class has 'forced' student interaction through a variation of the same icebreaking game: profile hunt. a certain quality or achievement is listed and you have to find a classmate who fits the profile (e.g. has at least two kids, fluently speaks at least 3 languages, has read at least one Harry Potter book). this forces us to talk to people and to try to get to know at least one thing about them.

i've played this game before and it can be done extremely shallowly if one so chooses. since these are going to be the people i am going to be stepping into the professional world with, i decided to strive for a little bit more than what was on the page. normally i abhor small talk, but it is much easier when you start by telling yourself, "i'm going to care about this person." then small talk is no longer small talk and it is big talk. as a result, i've made a new friend in my english class whom i can conveniently subway with on at least Tuesdays and Fridays because she lives in the east end around Tim and Viv, worked a summer with Edward "Mr. Technology" C. at Seneca, and is one of the bestest friends of Dorcas. i was struck dumb by the number of connections and amount of overlap with someone who was a complete stranger just seven hours ago. i so don't need Facebook.

psyched

you know what's a great way to start your first day of post-graduate education? waking up at 5 am because your alarm clock is screwy and changes the clock time if you change the alarm time too fast so i woke up an hour earlier than i wanted to on top of having trouble sleeping that night even though i tried to get to bed early in preparation of today's long day of lineups and information overload.

this year is going to plow past me so fast i will only really be ready for it after it has come and gone. first practicum in 6 weeks! Tuesdays and Fridays go from 8:30 to 10:30 and 3:00 to 5:00, one 2 hour lecture for each Teachable (English/Physics). Thursdays are the worst: 8:30 to 12:30 and 1:00 to 5:00 for a 4 hr Teaching Seminar and a 4 hr Psychology of Learning and Development lecture. Wednesdays are the best: 8:30 to 12:30 for my only elective, Drama Strategies for Teaching. everything is the same for next semester, except no class on Wednesdays and School and Society instead of psych. if anyone wants to hang out for lunch on TU/WE/FR, let me know.

chatted up some familiar faces (even one from high school, whom i've talked to maybe 2 times before) and got to know more recent ones a little better. don't actually know anyone in my cohort (YR/Durham region) yet. the new people that i did meet are all in different cohorts; slight chance i'll see them in a Teachable, if i remember what they look like and what their names are.

subwayed back to Scarborough with Helen, a UTSC classmate of the same program whom i only started talking to today, which made what would normally have been a snoozer of a trip rather pleasant. at every junction of the trip, i tried to gauge where the doors of the subways would stop by looking at the dirt patterns of the platforms and the arrayment of commuters (Psych powers) and got 2/3 tries; on the way to school this morning i guessed them all (2) correctly by intuition, which is cool but not as fun.

my foray into the urban jungle

i took a trip downtown today, as a result of laziness and circumstance.

i missed a deadline for handing in some required documentation to teacher's college. it was supposed to be mailed in on June 29th, the day before i headed out for Longlac. naturally, the whole thing completely slipped my mind until i decided to check on school stuff a few weeks after i came home. if i were a spazz, i would've spazzed. missing deadlines really sucks, especially if it's important.

fortunately, this deadline was softer than a cashmere kitten in a dryer full of cotton balls. my cohort supervisor recommended that i hand in the papers to the registrar's office personally. i thought i would take the opportunity to explore downtown in a little more detail.

i parked at fairview and subwayed down. since it was nearby, and since she asked, i visited Jacqueline at work. because the escalators to the Bloor line seemed to be congested with people, i thought it would be easier to just walk from Bloor and Yonge to Sherbourne station -- they looked pretty close on the subway map. it took me twenty minutes at my usual leisurely pace.

when i was introduced, the first thing one of her co-workers asked Jacqueline was, "is he your boyfriend?" to which we both laughed and snickered "no"s. it was expected, but i did not have the presence of mind to come up with a witty retort beforehand; opportunity squandered =(

after a brief lunch and sudoku at the Timothy's downstairs, i hiked to Bloor and St. George at my brisk pace, making it in 20 minutes. i did my business at the registrar's office and proceeded to explore the campus a bit. i padded to the library to use the computer. bumped into Dan P. from high school and we caught up a bit. since he is on Facebook, he had a bit of the inside scoop on the friends i haven't seen or talked to in forever. almost makes me want to get Facebook. almost.

i walked back to Yonge and Bloor after some 2 pm lunch, ducking into the new ROM gift shop to check it out. it is one ugly facade, like big giant disco-dice were chucked at, and embedded into the old museum. the rest of the day involved loafing around in malls and then hanging out with a lot of people and being sleepy.

what's the point of this post? i walked a lot and felt that everyone should know. i also act too much like a boyfriend. huzzah!

Day 22 at St. Florence: The End

and so ends my official tenure as student teacher at St. Florence. it was awesome.

little kids in grade 1 are arguably the best age for kids to be. they know how to pee and poo and wipe on their own, they say really cute things, they still look really cute and they hug you and hold your hand just to say hello. by now they know how to read and write the most common words, so they laugh at your jokes for the right reasons. their personalities are starting to flesh out but they're not at the stage of grudges and cut-eyes and backstabbery that plagues grade 5 and up. even when they're hurt and crying they can be cheered up with a hug and a funny noise or face. the best part about teaching grade 1 students is seeing how they've improved from the beginning of the year. the fruits of the teacher's labour are clearly evident in spelling tests and carpet-time questions.

we had a brief 8-word spelling test today, on less tricky words than last time because these could be sounded out (rich, chest, shed, club, land, ring, etc). i was given the task of marking while the teacher carried on with the next lesson. i thought checking eight words per student was a little bit too easy, so i set up a chart with eight boxes per student to track which words they had the most trouble with. then i totalled the scores and calculated an average. there are no calculators in a grade 1 classroom, so i had to do it manually for 20 students. to make it easier for myself, i plotted the marks in a histogram first (1 zero, 2 threes, 2 fives, 4 sixes, 4 sevens and 7 perfects). then i dotted all the boxes that indicated errors with a red marker so they'd stand out. most kids had trouble getting 'club' correct on account of mucking up their 'b' and 'd'. it was so nerdy; i wish i had taken a photograph of it.

can you tell i was playing with Excel the other day, tallying my university marks? i finished with a cumulative grade point average of pi (rounded to two decimal places) by the way. i was quite pleased since i had been on 2.9ish for the longest time. and then i found out i missed out on a Distinction by 0.06 and i felt like a loser; it was great.

anyway, there was a lot of hugging and hand holding and begging today from kids asking me not to leave; i already told them i would be in tomorrow. and now i will likely be in every monday, wednesday and friday for June as well (because i have no life and i like the attention they give me and because the teachers suckered me into it). now that i'm technically off the clock, i can be a bit more bold in building relationships with the kids and staff and subtly ministering to them. i should bring a camera some time.

Day 13 at St. Florence: Satisfaction

the students here are subjected to biannual testing in their aptitude for spelling. 32 common words are dictated, with a demonstrative sentence, and they are to spell it. i think the same list will be used for grade 2 as well. they take the test at the beginning of the year and again around Feb/March to track improvement. this year, the second round of the spelling test fell on today (well after Feb/March, we realize, but we do not care). the words were fairly simple, but phonetically tricky (good, soon, pretty, would, train etc.), so the test measured experience with words more than anything.

at the beginning of the year, a majority of the scores were 0 - 9, with three outliers hitting 16, 21 and 22 out of 32 respectively. the little cute boy (who licks himself) got 0 in October, and scored a 21 this time around. he talked throughout the test and supplied sentences at times ("would... would you like to kiss me?"). improvements like that were across the board. the kid who scored 16 the first time scored 31 today, only mispelling the final word pretty as 'pritty'. nerd girl (of pee-pee foot fame, was away again, so she did not play -- i assume she would know how to spell pretty). the girl who scored 22 actually transferred to another school the day before i first arrived. juding by the scores i've seen and the tones of veneration i hear when teachers and students speak of her, she must've really been something special.

putting those two scores side-by-side and seeing the huge leaps of improvement really make all the yelling and haranguing worthwhile.

Day 12 at St. Florence: Put on the Spot

this day was all about flying by the seat of my pants -- slow flying mind you, as i was verging on zombie again by 1:30.

the day started out, interestingly enough, where it left off the day before. nerd girl was absent (for the first time EVAR, so i'm told). we surmised it must have been an issue with getting peed on, a therapy session perhaps. her little brother in kindergarten was absent as well, but i found out about that a little later.

i was sent down to the office to ascertain the reason for nerd girl's absence. in the process of returning i was stopped by the kindergarten teacher, who reminds me a lot of someone who now lives in China, to take attendance for her class because a kid got hurt in the morning. the kids were neatly arrayed in a circle with their name cards on the ground or in their hands, sitting quietly, completely unsupervised until i got there. my, they were well-trained. taking their attendance was pretty fun; i only mangled three names. here is where i found out nerd girl's brother was also absent. they were both sick, according to later reports.
this wasn't the first time i'd been stopped to watch her class; yesterday, a kid got whapped in the head with a clock (not a real one) -- literally "clocked in the head" (kindergarten teacher and friend in the motherland pun alike), so i had to watch her kids as she fetched ice.

i got back to the grade 1s to find them in the middle of a probability lesson, concerning dice: which would occur more often when rolling two dice, doubles or non-doubles? well over their heads, i'm sure. my teacher introduced them to the dice and to the concept of doubles, then promptly handed off to me to explain which one showed up the most often. fortunately, my math did not completely fail me, though my chalkboard management skills did, as my list of possibilities (1|1,2,3,4,5,6...) verged on gross. i'm pretty sure no one got it, but we still had a high old time counting to 36. i have to learn to speak to the kids, not to the chalkboard. they start crawling all over each other once you turn your back. one tiny little boy, who is very, very cute in looks and mannerism and even voice, does the weirdest thing when he thinks no one is watching. when he raises his arm to answer a question, sometimes he'll lick his arm (like a cat). later i saw him licking his knee. these weren't little nips and dabs, they were long, langourous licks (like a cat). it cracked me and the other volunteer up.

yes, the other volunteer was in today. when little kids see a guy and a girl in the same setting more than once, they automatically assume romance is, or should be, in the air. i was prepared for this, due to years of Day Care. so Little Cute Girl asked me if i liked her, and if i would ask her out, etc. she seems way more concerned about my personal life than i am.

me - "do YOU like her?"
LCG - "yeah, but not like that!"
me - "i like her the same way."
LCG - "ooh."

and when one asks, everyone within earshot will ask too. ignore them and they won't pursue it further, because their attention spans are not that long.

Day 11 at St. Florence: Simple Pleasures

this post comes from my mom's computer, via Opera Portable. if you have a usb drive, i highly recommend finding a portable version of a web browser just in case your computer blows a tire (like mine seems to have) and requires a reformat. this one has all the features of a full Opera install, but doesn't leave any trace on the computer you use, has options for multiple profiles and is packed with all the speed inherent to the Opera browsing experience. i don't like browsing on the configurations of other people's browsers (it is usually the standard set up or overtweaked); it's like using their toilets.

anyways, about today. today was much better than yesterday, due to slighty more sleep and slightly less allergies and a few adventures to speak of.

i stuck around in teh staff room at lunchtime today because i was feeling better; as a result i am now privy to some really neurotic moments in the lives of the teachers i work with. it's like watching friends, and every character is a meld of Rachel and Monica. someone woke up last week to a mouse falling from her ceiling onto her shoulder, so she is mildly traumatized, traumatizing other mouse-haters by extension. mouse stories evolved to rat, raccoon, rabbit, cat, fox, coyote stories. i like animals.

i worked witht he special ed kids this afternoon so i missed out on some excellent excitement while the grade 1s went out to play while my teacher did more shotput tryouts. Fancy Dancer tried out and swept away the competition with a trial distance of over 12 m with a 4 kg shot. my teacher thinks he's on steroids; i think he's a robot. the other fun time i missed was pyro-boy deciding on a whim that he needed to pee, so he let it fly off the top of the slide and it hit the nerdiest, most legalistic girl in the class on the foot. she tattled. the girl who is absolutely in love with pyro-boy told off nerd girl for getting her beau into trouble, so nerd girl got really upset and threw a fit. my teacher whapped me with her clipboard later for laughing at her and abandoning her at such a crucial juncture.

while all this was going down, i made a paper airplane and helped some kids with their homework on interplanetary objects while finishing the day's crossword.

throughout the day i tried to make note of the simple things that i appreciate and enjoy (much like Amelie). i've taken a shine to watering the little plants we jiffy potted on Friday; watching the soil soak up water is rather sublime. one has already sprouted and i stared at it for a good 2 minutes just amazed at life. i potted some extra jiffy pots with soil but they have no seeds and receive no water. they are my control group. they are also there just in case God wants to pull off a flashier miracle.

Day 8 at St. Florence: The Friend Zone

awww man -- back in the Friend Zone again.

there is another student volunteering with the teacher i'm working with; she's really friendly, nice, and actually attended the school from kindergarten and graduated in '99.

the teacher made the boo-boo of introducing her to the kids by her first name, thus making her equal with the kids: a friend, if you will. she corrected that mistake by introducing me by my formal address, Mr. Chan, elevating me as an authority figure in the eyes of the children. This, of course, also leads to various pronunciations by the non-Chinese (everyone else): Mr. Chang, Mr. Chen, etc. the other student volunteer calls me Dr. Chan because she thought someone called me that on the first day.

anyways, if you're nice enough to the kids and not a very good disciplinarian, the kids will bring you back down to the Friend Zone and basically never listen to you unless you're saying something they want to hear. so now i'm having a lot of trouble getting them to listen to me when i tell them to sit at the their desks or walk a bit faster after playground time. it's like day care all over again, especially with the girls. i'm like a toy now.

littlest and cutest girl (LCG) in the class - "Mr. Chan? Do you have a girlfriend?"
me - "Nope."
LCG - "Why not?"
me - [shrug]
LCG - "Are you a teenager or an adult?"
me - "Adult."
LCG - "So you should have a girlfriend! ... It's easy. Just find a girl that you like, and then ask her out on a date! Oh, but what if the girl rejects you?"
me - [shrug] "Find someone else?"
LCG [to the other girls] - "I asked Mr. Chan, 'Do you have a girlfriend?' and he said, 'No.'" [giggles]

Day 6 at St. Florence: "You, shake your junk."

teachers are people, just like students. everyone can have good days and bad days. the fun part is getting bunches of people together on their good, medium, bad, neurotic days and having them try to cooperate and interact together on a daily basis.

my teacher shared about one of her past experiences at a school she'd like to forget. the staff there was cliquey -- "you can't sit there! that's mr. so-and-so's seat." St. Florence, small and quaint, is very much not like that. most of the students attending the school have been there since the beginning, and all their brothers and sisters went or still attend. though the neighbourhood is not the safest and the family backgrounds are not the most ideal situations, everyone at the school genuinely cares. little grade 1 kids will share their stuff like family. most kids don't have erasers; anytime someone asks to borrow one, two or three hands shoot up to volunteer and the erasers borrowed are always returned.

the teachers are as friendly with each other as the students are with their friends. for half the day we sat through a dry run of the thursday concert (more like classroom presentations). some classes did songs, some did dances, some did narrated scenes. the grade 6/7 class was easily the most impressive. they coordinated an elaborate 'stomp' routine that was simple, organized and quite delightful. grade 4s did dance routines, but dancing is hard for people on the cusp of puberty and feeling awkward about their limbs.

one of the highlights, especially for the teachers, was the segments of ballroom dancing done by the grade 8s. i don't know about you, but dancing in a public setting at the wallflower age for me would have been mortifying (tack on a cheesy mountie costume and i've got some lovely memories coming back to me now). the awkwardness showed in the people set in the background, with tentative touches of the hand; one brave hand actually ventured a bit south of the waist, but i'm not sure anyone else noticed. these guys did 4 different dances in different styles, to varying degrees of success of course. front and centre was the tallest man-child the school had to offer. relatively speaking, he is mature in manner and form. they got him to dance with 3 different girls (the pretties who could dance better than the awkwards). he moved with deliberation, poise, grace and at times a daintiness that belied his size. it sounds like i'm gushing, but i am merely quoting the teachers from their lunchtime schoolgirl gabfest about how graceful and elegant he was. one of the teachers said that he looked older than me; i took that as a compliment.

Day 5 at St. Florence: Getting into the Flow of Things

today i got to work with the special ed. teacher instead of the usual grade 1s. she is in charge of the spring concert this Thursday so much of today was spent decorating the gym with all the art projects each class made to display for their parents, putting up posters and signs and generally using up rolls of tape. there were some very creative pieces. the grade 4 class made crayon/pastel tshirts (cut out from paper) with Earth Day slogans and pictures on them. i put them up on the wall with some fishing line and clothes pins, and from a distance, it looks really cool. i can't imagine how some of this stuff gets done without student teachers and assistants year round. elementary teachers have so much to do in hardly any time. high school teachers get one period free for prep, on top of lunch -- the teachers here talk about such prep periods with a mixture of awe and envy. the only time these teachers seem to have is before class, recesses, lunch and when the students are in music or french.

anyways, today was also my first lesson. i was drafted into teaching a special ed. class science. we did flight, so for the last ten minutes of the day, we made paper airplanes and helicopters; tomfoolery was had by all.

working with a different teacher is quite the experience. the grade 1 teacher (wife of my program coordinator) has been teaching 30 years, so most of her stuff is routine and organized. this teacher, though statuesque, was confused by the new student teacher today as being a student. she is the type to say, "do whatever you want, you'll be fine," which is sort of the way i am. she's very nice and encouraging and puts the radio on during class. she tried to find Flow 93.5 this morning but got Barry White instead; i think Barry White (listen) for breakfast is a great way to start the day.

i got a pretty good dose of routine and organization last week and last year, so putting up decorations and throwing stuff around the room was a welcome reprieve.