i will take you to the beach
where the sunset does not mean anything bad
and the stars go out to play on the water
where the waves will chase our toes.
it will feel like forever
but forever in the good way (not boring)
the sandwiches will sort of have sand in them
it will finish all too soon.
we have an innate, human desire to understand our lives in concrete terms and to string them together logically, if so inclined; life takes on the form of a narrative in your medium of choice. perhaps this is why art, in all its forms, holds such an allure.
for myself, different situations call for different art forms. brief moments are captured quite neatly in single-pane comic strips (e.g. Farside, by Gary Larson). intensely emotional situations usually require a song, or piece, of music to act as an outlet. oftentimes i will replay a scene from the day in my head, but tinker with the dialogue, change the angle of the lighting, play the leitmotif with the french horn instead of the sax (less schmultzy) etc. it does an excellent job of keeping me awake when i'm trying to sleep.
it recently occured to me (last night) that each new chapter in life is governed by a theme that i only see in restrospect. each school term, i've found an overarching idea that seemed to tie together every course and conversation i was participating in at the time, no matter how diverse in topic they were. this is not limited to school. i have no examples because i have conveniently forgotten them. realizing these things upon introspection is as rewarding as rewatching an episode of the Office and catching a joke i had missed.
this time around, i've gotten a slight jump on this game of mental aerobics and i think i've caught the formation of the theme in the act. i had rushed into summer, looking to get what i wanted, through deliberation and initiative. there was a silly idea in my head that that's what manly men did. i know myself pretty well and i can definitely say i am a much better at reacting than i am initiating, so this can be seen as an overcompensation (ha). if this were a play, it would be the scene (Act IV, scene iii) where the protagonist gets complacent because the Wheel of Fortune has lifted him to the top. i had two classes in Shakespeare just before the summer. cue Act V, pathetic fallacy and inevitable fall. how tragic. how cathartic. this is usually the end of the play. a comedy of well-intentioned errors, adding a few more bricks on the road to hellooooo, nurse! anyone remember Animaniacs?
introspection occurs most often in the pits, where you can take a break from the monotony of the race and have other people change your tires, but mostly because there is nothing else to see. so there i receded into the back of my mind (where all the good stuff happens, so i'm told by neuropsychology students) to watch the proceedings from the cocoon of my own skull. i prayed to be able to hear God's voice. when we did that Taize worship thing a few months back, this is what i heard: "Moses! Moses!" (Exodus 3:4). i realized* that God calls you by name more than once - perhaps utilizing the physics of the echo effect. skulls have good reverberation.
this led to what i now see to be the theme of this chapter. instead of trying to be all manly by rushing headfirst into ambitious projects or solid objects, i need to learn to wait and listen**. coincidentally (or is it?), this has everything to do with what i'm studying at school, but only if i'm looking for it.
* i realized more than that, but it is off-topic
** from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Book 2: Earth, Chapter 3, 4 & 6, describing Aang's blind Earthbending master, Toph Bei Fong.
*****spoiler warning*****
how many television shows have you seen that will actually cause you to roll on the floor with laughter (ROFL)?
Season 3 of the Office (US) was a great start to what will hopefully be a memorable season. it'd be pretty hard for any show to follow up an Emmy Award winning (Best Comedy) season, but it already looks promising. Oscar Nunez (the accountant) was officially outed by boss, Michael Scott. talking head time was priceless (giggling Kevin). the new characters will take some getting used to.
click title link for some Dwigt action
my first major purchase was an Asus Z63a, back in February 3rd, 2006 and by all counts i am pleased with my decision. i try to stick by my decisions.
anyway, the process of obsessively researching and forming an informed opinion prior to making my decision led me to various pieces of free software with which to complete the experience. feel free to make suggestions.
Anti-Virus/Spyware/Adware/Malware/Junk: paid software suites (Norton, McAfee, etc) are generally bulky and memory hogs, slowing down boot-ups and performance in general. here is what i am using.
Anti-Virus: avast!
a memory-friendly and freely available anti-virus solution. easy to use, skinnable and fairly customizable. the only thing is that registration needs to be renewed every year. a 20 second copy and paste job once a year is nothing. AVG is another option (sans yearly registration) but it is slightly more taxing on my battery life (15 minutes) and the security tool used by UTSC to scan computers for the wireless network cannot detect AVG.
Anti-Spyware: not every anti-spyware solution can cover everything, so it is recommended that you use a suite of them. see Ars Technica's review.
Ad-Aware SE 6 Personal
a very thorough scanning tool that is quite easy to use. after scanning, it is a bit confusing, but the tabs will allow you to view each category of removable file (critical, non-critical) and select which ones to remove.
Spybot - Search and Destroy
this one has the coolest license agreement ever.
I. Freeware
First of all, the reasons why Spybot-S&D is free:I.a. Dedication
Spybot-S&D is dedicated to the most wonderful girl on earth :)I.b. Binary
What do you get if you buy software? Lots of ones and zeros, nothing more. If they were distributed as art, I could understand paying it. But if the main goal of their order is to earn money - by fees or ads - I don't like it!I.c. Conclusion
This means that I grant you the license to use Spybot-S&D as much as you like. But if you like it, I ask two things of you: say a prayer for me (and the most wonderful girl while you're at it ;) ) to your god - or whatever you believe - and wish us some luck.
Spyware Blaster
The rain set early in to-night,
The sullen wind was soon awake,
It tore the elm-tops down for spite,
And did its worst to vex the lake:
I listened with heart fit to break.
When glided in Porphyria; straight
She shut the cold out and the storm,
And kneeled and made the cheerless grate
Blaze up, and all the cottage warm;
Which done, she rose, and from her form
Withdrew the dripping cloak and shawl,
And laid her soiled gloves by, untied
Her hat and let the damp hair fall.
And, last, she sat down by my side
And called me. When no voice replied,
She put my arm about her waist,
And made her smooth white shoulder bare,
And all her yellow hair displaced,
And, stooping, made my cheek lie there,
And spread, o'er all, her yellow hair,
Murmuring how she loved me -- she
Too weak, for all her heart's endeavour,
To set its struggling passion free
From pride, and vainer ties dissever,
And give herself to me for ever.
But passion sometimes would prevail,
Nor could to-night's gay feast restrain
A sudden thought of one so pale
For love of her, and all in vain:
So, she was come through wind and rain.
Be sure I looked up at her eyes
Happy and proud; at last I knew
Porphyria worshipped me; surprise
Made my heart swell, and still it grew
While I debated what to do.
That moment she was mine, mine, fair,
Perfectly pure and good: I found
A thing to do, and all her hair
In one long yellow string I wound
Three times her little throat around,
And strangled her. No pain felt she;
I am quite sure she felt no pain.
As a shut bud that holds a bee,
I warily oped her lids: again
Laughed the blue eyes without a stain.
And I untightened next the tress
About her neck; her cheek once more
Blushed bright beneath my burning kiss:
I propped her head up as before,
Only, this time my shoulder bore
Her head, which droops upon it still:
That smiling rosy little head,
So glad it has its utmost will,
That all it scorned at once is fled,
And I, its love, am gained instead!
Porphyria's love: she guessed not how
Her darling one wish would be heard.
And thus we sit together now,
And all night long we have not stirred,
And yet God has not said a word!
ENGB34 - The Short Story
Professor: Alexandra Peat
i like short stories. they are shorter (duh) and are generally more artistic in nature when compared to novels. they're like prose poems. the professor is the same as the one i had for a class last fall (critical thinking in narrative). some of the short stories from then are repeated here as well (James' The Real Thing, Joyce's the Dead - the good ones). our first study was on Chekhov, the russian playwright/doctor (like how Dr. McNinja is a ninja/doctor). he is well known for his ambiguous stories and inconclusive endings and banal dialogues. i love it.
ENGB35 - Children's Literature
Professor: Michael Boughn
i'm quite excited about this course, but only because i get to read Roald Dahl (The Witches), C.S. Lewis (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe), Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass) and J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone). but i also have to read things like Robinson Crusoe, Treasure Island, the Secret Garden and Little Women. the professor is a good speaker but flies off on tangents farther than i do (because he is more knowledgable). i like his stories about his kids though. i don't think it is womanly to want to have children, so that's what i want.
ENGB08 - Collisions of Culture and the Emergence of a Liberal Nation: Early American Literature
Professor: Ian Macrae
this course i picked because it fit my schedule and i will likely see it through because i wish to become a more diverse reader. however, this course doesn't have too much going for it. the professor is decent and he also has a nice monotone voice like my own. i sit in the very front so that i cannot fall asleep.
ENGC02 - Major Canadian Authors
Professor: Marlene Goldman
i was very much looking forward to this class because apart from Roald Dahl, C.S. Lewis and J.K. Rowling, my favourite authors are Robertson Davies and Maraget Atwood. unfortunately, this class is only studying Atwood, Alice Munroe and Timothy Findley. i remember one of Munroe's short stories (How I Met My Husband) and i've heard good things about Findley. should be an excellent class to articulate my Atwood obsession many thanks go to Jacqueline for stealing a huge stack of Atwood novels from her local library's donation pile, to Reach for the Top for awarding me a copy of Dancing Girls and Other Short Stories in a raffle and to Sharon for prompting me to read Oryx and Crake (which will be studied).
ENGC20 - Victorian Prose and Poetry
Professor: Natalie Rose
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Jenna Fischer, aka Pam Beesly on The Office (US):
i like...
- the way she doesn't need a layer cake of makeup or fancy frills to be attractive, but she can still pull off glamourous
- the way she writes (see her blog - link above)
- her facial acting range
- her silliness
...then obviously you've never seen the insect world in action (click title link for video). all the greed and viciousness of people pale in comparison to what you're about to see.
Warning: this video is not for the faint of heart or those that are deathly afraid of flying insects (bees in particular).
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