happy ending...

Severed Penis Retrieved from Toilet, Reattached

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) - A 44-year-old Anchorage man had his penis surgically reattached after it was cut off by an angry girlfriend and flushed down a toilet, local police said on Sunday.

The events unfolded about midnight on Saturday, after the pair had been arguing over an impending breakup, an Anchorage Police Department statement said. At some point, the two decided to have sex and the man agreed to let the woman tie his arms to a windowsill.

But the woman used a kitchen knife to amputate her partner's penis and flushed it down the toilet, police said. She untied the man, drove him to a local hospital and was cleaning up the bloody scene when police arrived at the home, according to the statement.

Summoned by the police, workers from the local water utility pulled the toilet up from the floor and were able to recover the severed penis, which was rushed to the hospital for the successful reattachment surgery on Sunday morning.

Police declined to identify the victim, but said his assailant was 35-year-old Kim Tran. She was charged with assault, domestic violence and tampering with evidence, and jailed without bail.

yahoo! buzz log 2.19

yahoo! has certainly captured the human condition with the most Popular Prom Dress Searches.

the first one, the sexy prom dress, is indicative of our desire to appeal through our apparel. the 'sexy prom dress' has a long and arduous history, persecuted most rigourously back in the 60's when the feminist movement was on the upswing. SPDs were cast aside in favour of flannel lumberjack shirts and denim lumberjack overalls, as it was highly feminine to take 6 minutes in the bathroom just trying to figure out the overalls. but now, by some mixture of teenage rebellion and sarah jessica parker, it's more feminine to be overtly feminine, to flaunt your assets. as a result, SPDs tend to lead to STDs.

cheap prom dresses are what keep the economy going. after the Christmas spree, the winter blahs kick in. people stay indoors and stop buying stuff. but once march looms, its prom dress hunting time. come hell or high water, they just have to get the best deal on a passably fashionable dress. the trick here is to grossly overcharge for dresses normally - you still get a few rubes who live by doing everything 5 months in advance. then drop the prices to around $300 and they'll snap it right up, while you net profits by sheer quantity rather than quality. the cheap prom dress is a distant cousin of the used prom dress purchased at a yard sale or online. the stains add character, your father would say.

plus-size prom dresses are just like normal prom dresses, only more billowy. to assuage the self-esteem of the customer, retailers will opt for the PS system. instead of wearing a size 24, you'd only need a size 3-PS. that's right. it's just another arbitrary sizing system, because numbers that accurately reflect the diameter of my waist cannot be trusted to the hatefully honest inch.

the vintage prom dress is a flannel lumberjack shirt with denim lumberjack overalls and steel-toed boots. to get the whole vintage look down, remember to grow out your body hair (attach extensions if you're so unlucky to have the baldbody gene), wear a toque and a hooker thong, just as a nice surprise for your date.

i think...

i think that i'm getting too emotionally invested in the television shows that i watch. joan of arcadia almost made me cry.

you broke my GAYDAR!

severe overload! emergency shutdown imminent!

Joan of Arcadia: 2.15

little girl God:and they all lived happily ever after. there's a surprise. heh, you guys really like that ending.

Joan: yeah, well, you have a better one?

little girl God: they all moved towards spiritual growth and enlightenment?

Joan: yeah, that's gonna work with the kids.

little girl God: ever notice that the guy always has to risk his life and girl is nearly dead when he finds her? it takes a kiss to wake her up and they ride off together. it's a nice metaphor.

Joan: for what?

little girl God: death and resurrection.

Joan: yeah, that's a fun party game

little girl God: it happens all the time. the illusion dies so that something deeper can take it's place.

Joan: are you saying that adam and i are an illusion?

little girl God: romance serves a purpose. it's a meditative state. it puts logic to sleep so that people can come together. otherwise, you guys probably wouldn't risk it.

Joan:why did you have to make love so complicated? i mean, could not one thing have been easy?

little girl God: love is big. it's a bright light in the universe. and a bright light casts a big shadow. so what do you want to do, Joan?

Joan: how am i supposed to know?

little girl God: by looking at it. real love is hard work. you have to decide if you want it in your story. or, if you'd rather just stay in the dream.

fibulated

Activate[{towel_throw.230408}, {delay = 99; mode = brave; style = okay}]

Wouldn't You Like To Be A Herman Too?

Would You Give Someone Your Last Herman?
Please Don't Squeeze the Herman.
Have You Had Your Herman Today?
More Herman Please.
Dude, You're Getting a Herman!
I Wish I Were a Herman Weiner.

what are you drawing?

Napoleon: a liger.
Deb: what's a liger?
Napoleon: it's pretty much my favourite animal. its like a lion and tiger mixed, bred for it's skills in magic.

i'm interesting.

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 17%
Visual : 82%
Left : 57%
Right : 42%

You are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and a predominantly visual learner, an interesting blend of characteristics!

You are an intensely visual person, active and continuously searching. As such, there is no rhythm or beat to limit your learning. You are constantly absorbing and imaging. Your tendency to be left- hemisphere dominant, however, creates some difficulties. You continue to attempt to structure all that input and categorize it, at the same time continuing to seek out new input while "reflecting" in what you have already gained.

With your visual orientation absorbing so much input, you sometimes utilize your left-brain focus to identify logical aspects of what you perceive and may become overwhelmed by details.

When faced with situations where you have to rely on verbal input exclu- sively, you may find yourself needing to work more on maintain- ing an "overview" or perspective in order to fully grasp the material. It is likely that "sketching out" a representation of material that you are listening to will enhance your understanding and recall of the material. Drawing diagrams and note- taking allow you to "see" the relationships and absorb them more fully.

You tend to focus on details and are generally logical and organized. You have an intensity which is evident to others and yet can feel comfortable with the applied aspects of learning, the practical.

Given that you are somewhat goal-directed, the difficulty with being so visual is that you continuously "see" new goals and thus may be drawn from one to the other or at least forced to think about them within present structures. Because of your visual processing mode, you are regularly faced with tolerating and integrating ambiguity, a process which disrupts the equilibrium of your left-hemisphere preeminence.

It is likely that you are restless continuously and do not feel challenged. You may well explore engaging in activities which enhance right-hemisphere functioning which would reduce some of the tension you might currently be experiencing.

believe it or not, i had a conversation with my grandfather about LIGERS. (!!)