would you like to take a survey?

let's say, hypothetically, that you're on a dinner date with someone who is way too into you and you need to bail. Question: what topic will you turn the conversation to in order to turn your date completely off?

my answer: Pubic Hair.

when bears drink and surf...

click the title for the coolest thing i've seen today.

i want to be a white tiger, and now i feel like vacuuming

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. i am also particularly attracted to nice bums. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. precisely. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. and also immature. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. and/or someone who is an axe-murderer. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. wow, you're good, mr. internet quiz Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. was this because i chose to get rid of snakes? You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. it will verge on idolatry. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.you have failed here, mr. internet quiz. i'd fall for it quite easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

left behind

i'm sure a few of you have read at least some of the books from this series. you know, the one where the first book was great and showed a lot of promise? and where all the subsequent books read like they were written by Dan Brown (and not in the good way)?

basically, the premise of the story is that a few people in a mid-Apocalyptic/post-Rapture era are fighting for survival in a world in upheaval. according to the Left Behind series and whoever they researched off of, the Rapture is when all the "true Christians" are whisked away into heaven, sparing them from the 7 years of turmoil (tribulation) in which the anti-christ reigns prior to the second coming of Christ and the Day of Judgment. those that realize the Rapture has occured and repent of their unholy ways band together to form a "Tribulation Force". and that's as far as i could bear to read.

and basically, they've decided that it is time to convert this epic tale into a video game (pun intended, obviously). maybe this will draw attention away from the "evolution is just a theory" stickers on Louisiana science textbooks and the Da Vinci Code and other important "Christian" issues.

"sorry, the missions trip to Caracas is cancelled because we're hosting a Da Vinci Code conference on the merits of Dan Brown's claims about the bloodline of Christ and how his children have evolved into angels and/or demons who have infiltrated the CIA and are fighting each other undercover for supreme control over the government to they can decide once and for all if the evolution stickers on textbooks is God's will or not."

surprised

thanks

school is like a box of chocolates...

on wednesday i finished my first teaching placement (ever) with the grade 11 physics classes and grade 10 applied general science at Unionville High. it was genuinely a very good experience and i probably learned more than i taught. i also discovered i had a knack for making photocopiers jam (even the unjammable risograph machine jammed on me -- the lady in the office was very surprised). in any case, the kids and teachers all loved me. the physics classes wrote me a card! here's my favourite comment due to hilarity:

Mr. Chan
I am so sad >.< for your leaving, your funny teaching, your handsome face, even your sound. we can't forget. Anyways, thx for your good teaching. Hope we will meet again. - [male student's name]

someone came by 'after' and wrote "gay lol". awesome opossum!

today, i didn't have school. i had my first day of gainful employment, in an office, instead. huzzah! ample opportunity to jam photocopiers. i prep data for migration to new software. there is so much office jargon! the only reason, i believe, that i've managed so far is because i watched the Office with cultic fanatacism these past months. no Pam here. the work is slightly monotonous, but i do get to practice my keyboard shortcuts and inner monologues.