catch-22

no study = fail
study = no fail
no study + study = no fail + fail
(no + 1)study = (no + 1)fail
study = fail

i was passed this little gem today.

why i'm bad at conversation

1. i don't ask questions very often
2. my mind wanders when others speak
3. i often guess what people are about to say and say it
4. it is uncomfortable for me to keep eye contact
5. my mind works faster than my mouth moves
6. i like the sound of silence
7. i don't know what to do with my facial expressions when someone is speaking
8. i say things in my head before i say them outloud and it feels like i'm repeating myself
9. i tend to mumble parenthetically
10. i say the most awkward things

Opera 9.5 Beta

at the beginning of September, i posted about the public alpha release of Opera 9.5, codenamed Kestrel.

[marketing spiel] included in the alpha, and now given a name, is the Opera Link service. it is essentially an online repository for your browser's bookmarks, personal bar settings and speed dial sites, allowing you to synchronize any computer or mobile phone running either Opera 9.5 or Opera Mini 4. the process is simple, painless and works in the background. you can turn it on or off at your leisure. if you have multiple computers and a mobile phone with wi-fi capability, this handy feature will save you a bundle of time. there is also a web interface for firefox/ie/safari users who use Opera Mini on their phones.

9.5 is a significant evolutionary upgrade from the latest stable release, Opera 9.24. as i mentioned before, the rendering engine has been retooled for greater performance both in speed and resource usage. it will bridge the gap between 9.2x and Opera 10 (Peregrine), as most of the backend of the browser will be in 9.5. Peregrine will improve on the user interface, cross-platform compatability and usability and new tools for web developers.

[/marketing spiel]

i downloaded it this morning. i only just got home to install the beta over the alpha. so far it has not exploded. it feels snappier than the alpha (i was using an early public build as the later versions tended to crash when using Google Reader). i just signed up for the Opera Link feature a couple of nights ago before it was publicly named. it has not caused any problems, although i don't exactly have any other computers or mobile devices to actually try it out on. i just signed on so in the event my settings get wiped, or i decide to clean up my browser profile, i'll have an easy way of getting it all back. and when i eventaully migrate to a mac and need to install Opera 10 on it, i'll be set. can one of you mac users please try out the beta on OS X (Leopard leaps tomorrow, btw)?

all the rendering glitches in Blogger seem to have been ironed out as well. the glitches i've been putting up with in GMail have also been cleaned up (paragraphing, not being able to read text that i've typed unless i press enter before typing, crashing if i type then go back and press enter... it was a chore). Google Reader seems to be running without trouble. i am well pleased.

i heard the best chemistry riddle today...

What would be more likely to dissolve in water, a bear from Alberta or a bear from Nunavut? Answer: a bear from Nunavut, because it would be a polar bear.

if you liked that one, you might be tickled by this.

[edit]browsing about, i found something very mindboggling and hilarious. some guy wrote a personal ad on craigslist mathematically proving why you should go out with him. inspired by Dating Pools.[/edit]

[another edit]okay, just one more for tonight.[/another edit]

because everyone else is talking about it...

this is for the Potter-heads in my readership (all 4 of you that i know of)...

i heard today from a student today that Dumbledore had been outed by his author as a homosexual. this is not a spoiler because it is an irelevant contextualization. this was revealed well after the stories were published and released, and only came about because some insightful reader asked Rowling if Albus Dumbledore ever found true love. if anything, this charges [spoiler] Dumbledore's defeat and imprisonment of Grindelwald [/spoiler] with significance hitherto unforeseen.

naturally, there has been an outpouring of crazy from both ends of the spectrum (e.g. "you ruined Harry Potter for me and now i can't imagine Dumbledore without visualizing him with another man"). in the midst of the crazy, one voice piped up to lay down some fine editorializing. yes, you can all have opinions, but there is a certain level of decorum expected when you express them, especially in a public forum. so i uphold the linked article (mild spoilers) as a model of expressing an opinion in a decorous and well-reasoned manner.

research is a great cure for unsubstantiated ranting and raving.

how do i say this without sounding full of myself?

every once in awhile i will mentally poll myself for weaknesses that i might be able to improve upon, or at least prop up with a stick, and i came upon one that is potentially disastrous if not taken care of. as Mellyee can attest, i have no idea what to do if i am the target of unwanted female attention. it's not that common a situation to come across, but the tides of society have shifted in recent decades -- i'd probably feel more insulted than relieved if it has never happened.

my fear is that there might be someone attracted to me who will be hurt when i pursue another. in the past, once i noticed the attraction (or had it brought to my attention by the more astute) i would raise the deflector shields and divert remaining power to the awkwardness; or, when i am feeling less noble and more desperate, i might just enjoy the free attention. either option, i'm sure you will all agree, is pretty terrible.

so, fair readers, i ask for your advice and/or experiences in the matter. what are some of the signs that someone is interested? how should a guy properly dissuade a girl from lavishing him with attention that he cannot reciprocate in good faith? how can he do so without embarrassing her or incurring future wrath and/or blood vengeance?

gobsmacked

i have been given too many blessings to count. even in the most optimistic light i can hardly be considered deserving of any of these gifts.

my associate teacher just gave me everything he had on grade 12 Physics -- lesson plans, unit plans, assignments, previous tests, exams -- things that would normally take someone starting from scratch two or three years to develop and another five years to develop well. i did not ask him for it and i certainly have not earned it yet, seeing as how today was the second of two orientation days; i haven't even started my placement.

i have just been given 15 years worth of experience to do with as i please. i have been guided and molded, poked and prodded into someone with the passion, ability, and training to put it to good use.

this is the answer to my prayer for more land. this is the answer to my prayer for more responsibility, for more blessings, for more talents, so that i could do more and be more for God. with an answer like this, i have no need to fear inadequacy, nor worry about what trials may come.

so here is me, on the raggedy edge of the rest of my life, exactly where i should be.

all growed up

yesterday, i paid my first credit card bill (ever). i had put off using it until september. i also took the car to get its oil changed since i had the day off. i'm feeling rather aged.

today was the first of two orientation days at my first placement of teachers college. i got all dressed up to differentiate myself from the students so that i wouldn't get kicked out of staff rooms and what not. for every first day of work i've ever had, i've worn my shiny red shirt. it's not actually shiny. i recently acquired some khaki Dockers and remembered that i had brown shoes and a brown jacket. before i knew it, i was dressed like this, sans suspenders and gun.

anyway, i met up and shadowed my Associate Teacher. turns out he also went to OISE, before it was called OISE and had the same physics instructor that i do now. he also did graduate work at UTSC so he knows my undergrad program coordinator there as well. we have eerily similar philosophies about teaching and about physics and he is much nerdier than i am with spreadsheets (i know!). he is definitely a polymath; not of the rote memorization sort, but rather the holistic everything-is-connected sort (which i also fancy myself as being). i think he'll appreciate having someone else to gadget-talk with; he is the department's resident tech consultant (which i usually get defaulted to in most cases).

the one in which i pretend thatsomeone loved me for a little while

when i close my eyes and look real hard, i can see just how far away you are from all the moments we once shared (like the grass-green grass that stood yea tall, the sky-blue sky and the cotton-ball cloud that you thought was a bunny tail); you are so far away it seems i can only see the memories intermingled with scraps of melodies that remind me of how we once had dreams.

i ate some of the snomit and it was difficult.

since arthur's out for the weekend, lyris and i supervised Hosanna's program: Fear Factor. i ate some very incongruous food items. the worst, by far, was the banana mash with kiwi, raw onion bits swirled within a mixture of vinegar. it looked like snot and tasted like vomit.

when the girls cleaned up their stations, they got washcloths to wipe the table and brush crumbs and particulate matter into the plates for disposal.

when the guys cleaned up their stations, they got half a stack of paper towel and created lovely piles of used paper towel on the table and on the floor. then they rubbed them in each other's faces.

Taylor Mali - What Teachers Make

also titled: "Objection Overruled", or "If things don't work out, you can always go to law school"

By Taylor Mali

a fellow student shared this with my english class.



read-along! since it is transcribed, the structure is probably not as he wrote it, but my best approximation given what i might have done if i were the author.

He says the problem with teachers is,
"What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided
his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

[laughs]

He reminds the other dinner guests
that it's true what they say about teachers:
That those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

[laughs]

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the urge to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers,
Because we're eating, after all,
and this is polite conversation.

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor,
Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest), because you see,
I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking:
which is, if you ask for it,
then I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder
than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like
a Congressional medal of honor
and I can make an A- feel like
a slap in the face.
"How dare you waste my time
with anything less than your very best."

You want to know what I make?

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence.
"No, you cannot work in groups."
"No, you can't ask a question, so put your hand down."
"Why won't I let you go to the bathroom?
Because you're bored and you don't really have to go, do you?"

You want to know what I make?

I make parents tremble in fear
when I call home at around dinner time:
"Hi, This is Mr. Mali, I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about
something your son did today. He said,
'Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?'
And it was the noblest act of courage that I have ever seen."
I make parents see their children
for who they are and who they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids question. I make'm criticize.
I make'm apologize and mean it.
I make'm write, write, write, and then I make'm read.
I make'm spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful,
definitely beautiful, over and over again,
until they will never misspell either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And then hide it on their final drafts in English.

I make'm realize that if you got this [points to head]
then you follow this, [points to heart]
and if someone ever tries to judge you, based on what you make,
you give them this! [brandishes finger]

Let me break it down for you,
Let me break it down for you,
so you know what I say is true:
I make a [gorram] difference!
Now, what about you?

TV time

the beginning of the school season also marks the beginning of the television season and the hockey season; it also marks the beginning of my descent into academic purgatory on account of all the above.

anyway, here is a list of the stuff i am watching, or will be watching, in case you are interested (since i have good tv taste, right?).

Avatar: The Last Airbender - Book 3: Fire
Genre: Animated Action/Comedy
though it is aimed at the under 18 demographic, the show's depth, excellent writing, spot-on character voicing and stellar animation sets it a cut above all other kids shows. season 3 was originally slated to be the final act of the 3-part story, but it looks like there will be 3 more seasons following this one as well as a live-action movie trilogy helmed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Dexter - Season 2
Genre: Live-action Thriller/Drama/Comedy
the heavily serial nature of this show makes it difficult to watch part way through a season as themes, motifs and story arcs run season-long. but it also makes this show difficult to put down once you've started. i watched season 1 straight through in about 3 days. it walks a fine twisted line between the darkest abyss of human savagery and slightly off-beat black humour. unlike Avatar, i would not watch this with kids.

Pushing Daisies - Season 1
Genre: Live-action Fantasy Drama/Comedy/Procedural
this show just premiered last week and it has already hooked me. it might have something to do with the whacky premise. it might have something to do with the fantastic colours. it probably has a lot to do with the way it reminds me of Amelie. there was even a scene in the pilot episode ("Pie-lette") that had a song from Amelie playing in the background. the lead actress, Anna Friel, reminds me of the canceled Standoff's Rosmarie DeWitt.

Smallville - Season 7
Genre: Live-action Action/Soap Opera
this is one of my guilty pleasures. the writing is crappy and sappy. half of the acting is pretty sucky. and again, the writing is REALLY REALLY crappy. but still i watch it. because it's Superman, pre-flight.

The Office - Season 4
Genre: Live-action Comedy
this show has almost everything i've ever wanted in a show: smart writing, humour (ranging from flagarantly crude to subtle snark), eye-candy, witty dialogue and videography, and characters that i care about. the only thing that's missing is action (but there is some of that).

come January, some other shows will be coming back:
Battlestar Galactica - Season 4
Genre: Live-action Science Fiction Action/Drama
this show can take you to moral, ethical, political, legal, social, and personal places you couldn't possibly grasp on your own. just because it is set in space does not mean they don't deal with racism, elitism, discrimination, love, justice, violence, etc. the dialogue is... not memorable, but the fully developed characters are. sometimes you'll find yourself saying, "Admiral Adama would not have allowed that," when watching the politcal reports on the news. sadly, season 4 will be the last one.

Psych - Season 2 (second half)
Genre: Live-action Procedural/Comedy
you know all those shows that have cropped up recently that are based on Sherlock Holmes? let me refresh your memory: House, Monk, Bones, CSI, blah blah blah... anyways, Psych is the funny version. it reminds me very much of Scrubs. it is a very self-aware comedy that is not afraid to poke fun of itself and the genre of police procedurals.

it doesn't matter what you throw into the pond;there will still be ripples

i've been meaning to write about this topic, but haven't been able to articulate myself to any degree of satisfaction. this is because it is part of a larger socio-psychological theory that i am currently trying to synthesize that requires a bit of background with the kinetic-molecular theory, the wave-particle theory, the resonance phenomenon, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and Vygotsky's theory of social transmission. at the moment, i do not have time to elaborate enough on all of them in any cohesive manner, and as such, you all remain woefully deprived of my brain-barf (in writing at least; i can probably speak about it).

today, however, i was shown the following video, which touches on what i wanted to say more succinctly and powerfully.



basically i've been noticing that we often make decisions for ourselves without really considering what affect it might have on those around us. my generation has been brought up not to worry about what others think of us (individually), but this only applies in the context of preserving self-esteem in the face of bullying. to extend this idealogy to all facets of life would be a mistake.

each and every person (that reads this blog at least) has someone in his or her life that respects him or her; that is to say that you all have an influence over someone or many someones. influence is a responsibility. so when you decide to do a big something, you have to remember that someone is watching what you do, without the benefit of knowing why you are doing it. this doesn't only apply to physical 'seeing'; your online actions, as well as your actions transmitted through hearsay, are also equally scrutinized. this is not to say that the Pharisees had the right idea about acting holier than thou art; their problem was that of hypocrisy -- it was all only an act.

though it is just a throwaway line that has become a catchphrase for a tertiary character in a long-running cartoon,

"Won't somebody please think of the children?" - Mrs. Lovejoy

still rings of truth.

practically speaking

last Thursday, a lady from student services at the school came to our class to brief us on what to expect for our practice teaching placements (practicums). much of it was usual stuff like police clearance to work in a vulnerable sector, checking with school administrators about parking situations, dress code, what to do if you get an associate teacher (the mentor) who foists all of his or her workload on to you from the get go, etc.

we were also warned about online issues. Facebook users were encouraged to set their profiles to private because students will inevitably look you up wherever they can (students who google me up will be in for a rude/pleasant surprise. i will probably have to lock down this blog for a brief period of time). instances of cyber-bullying have occured, among other things. we are also not to give out personal email addresses because some students will try to contact you out of adoration, or malice, depending on what sort of teacher you are. in her own words, "i remember falling in love with a student teacher when i was fifteen," so that made me feel icky for the rest of the day. so now, in addition to learning how to plan lessons, units, curricula and deal with the office politics and social situations that occur in school, i must also train myself to deflect misguided hormone missiles teenage puppy-love. i should get some bowling shirts.