something nerdy for my fans

when a girl with glasses comes up to you and says, "Dell notebooks are filthy plastic pieces of crap in elephantine boxes (with white trim)," you just can't help but be attracted to her. not that this has ever happened (sigh).

also:
the new apple macbook pros and its predecessors (the powerbooks and ibooks) come with a standard program that senses sudden imbalances in the notebook's orientation (essentially a glorified accelerometer) and automatically clamps off the hard drive head to avoid tragic and irreversible head-to-disk crashes (think of it as an asteroid hitting a china store. in which the asteroid is a giant magnet. and the china is all made of credit cards and cassettes and floppy disks. this feature is also long available with IBM/Lenovo thinkpads but i hate the nipple mouse). so if your notebook happens to take a spill while the hard drive is running, damage will be restricted to cosmetic injuries and not to your data.

Amit Singh has geniusly tapped into this built-in program and unleashed its hidden potential.
The Powerbook Sudden Mostion Sensor
The Apple Motion Sensor As A Human Interface Device (watch the movies!)

you might want to sit down for this...

it's something i've been meaning to say for a long time, but i was never sure how to broach the subject. in these relativistic times i think it is important to take a stand and also important to have the people i care about supporting me. so here goes.
i don't know how long this has been going on, but i think it's something i've known all my life. it's not like i just woke up one day and decided on it -- it just was, and always will be. i recently met someone... a girl. i'm pretty serious about her. yeah, i'm heterosexual. i know you're usually pretty open minded, and i don't want you to get the wrong idea. i'm not doing this just to rebel, or be "different". it's just who i am and how i was built. i hope you can see this from my perspective. i hope you don't think of me differently because of this. i don't feel any different from who i was yesterday; i'm the same person i always was, the same person you've known all these years. i'm sure you'll like her when you meet her, you'll see that we're really good together. we're not really any different from other couples, we just happen to be of different gender. we -- i really appreciate your understanding in this. it's tough, but we're really working on this, trying to keep it all together. i want to thank you for being there for us, for being a listening ear and supporter. you've really made a difficult situation so much easier.

njohari

nohari
johari

brake fast

i don't like braking. that's the kind of driver i am. i coast to red lights in hopes of getting a lucky green. and i hate green corollas (more on this later) with the passion of ten thousand blazing white suns.

on the way home today i went from shepherd to 14th ave + one block east and all the way up to my driveway without braking once. i am proud of this accomplishment.

i'd like to thank all the green lights that allowed me to pass unimpeded, the slower drivers who clustered together but left enough space for me to weave two lanes to pass, and my passenger, sherman, who was too tired to care that my right turns were super wild at 40 km/hr. and God, because that's what award winners do. i did nearly sideswipe a snowbank.

professor shakespeare strikes again

roman catholic priests are always getting caught, the pedarasts. [...] one of them actually got kicked out of the church, he was a nineteen year old priest and he was caught with another nineteen year old. a girl! so he got kicked out. and i thought, WOW, they should have given him a medal!

-professor shakespeare