late last year i set out on a mission. not a Christian soul-saving mission, unfortunately, but one of danger and mild intrigue and most people not caring. hush hush secret.
it was the oppurtune moment to GAIN WEIGHT! as christmas dinner times were nigh.
for a few years i had been of equal weight to a scyther (123 lbs (55.8 kg) +/- 2 (0.9), depending on the day of the week). a BMI calulation told me that i was marginally normal for my age and height. BMIs are dreadfully inaccurate, as they do not factor lifestyle or other such intangibles. since i'm honest with myself and know that i am a rather dense chesterfieldian tater, i figured that i just need more mass. so i pigged.
not being a real goal setter i merely aimed for cresting the previous pants-on high of 127 lbs (57.6 kg). my pockets were also full at the time. i finally did it a two weeks ago and have been sitting steady at around 128 lbs (58 kg) with PJ pants, which have negligible mass, and cresting at a milestone 130 lbs (59 kg).
if i ever hit 2.58583 x 10^30 kg, can collapse into a neutron star.
