On Lemons and Other Tropical Fruits

You know that saying?

If life gives you lemons,
Make lemonade.

It's a pithy saying that's supposed to be a glass half-full outlook on life that will get you through the sour times.

The lemons are a metaphor; e.g. lemons are the orphan babies that American football couples adopt from Asia (Author's note: balderdash).

Lemons also refer to products that are duds, primarily vehicles or electronics. These are products that made it through the manufacturing processes, the quality assurance tests and ended up in the hands of a consumer, only to have him or her discover that the end product leaves a lot to be desired. Any large batch of products will inevitably yield a percentage of lemons. Exercise your warranty.

Funny thing: I like lemons.

Funnier thing: I like grapefruit even more. It is arguably worse metaphorically, being both bigger and more bitter. I don't know if you've had the opportunity to throw a grapefruit before, but let me tell you, it's downright fun. Grapefruit have a heft that is reminiscent of softballs. In fact, softball designs were based on grapefruits (Author's note: absolute habberdashery).

If life were to throw grapefruit instead, life would probably take some measure of sadistic pleasure in doing so.