my last first day

even though i hid in one spot watching Mystery Men and The Office and browsing the increasingly boring internet for about 4 of the 6 hours i spent at school day, the short walk i took from hiding nook to class netted me half a dozen familiar faces and conversations. while i do have about 2/3 of one foot out the "door", i know i will look back on these past four years with fondness, both for the countless hours spent alone and for the brief moments spent in communion with physics and english nerds alike.

if all goes according to plan, i will have many more first days of school to go through, but from the other side of the classroom. as a sign of growth, i have resolved to not fall into the trap of slack i fell into in my senior year of high school because there is so much more than myself at stake. eventually, there will be dozens of fertile minds entrusted to my tutelage. even if teaching does not pan out and other avenues open up, eventually there will still be lives entrusted to my care. i tried to motivate myself in first year with the same reasoning, but it was too overwhelming and i despaired. this time around, i still feel overwhelmed -- not with despair, but rather excitement for the real troubles and fun to begin.