i am a mammal. more on this later.

LATER:
mammals have warm blood. that is, a central heating system that allows them to frolick in otherwise uncomfortable climes. as such, i, as a mammal, can play hockey on the cold, cold ice, whereas lizards, generally accepted as the generic non-mammal, will liken the hockey experience to something along the lines of "uncomfortable lack of heat". on the other hand, having central heating comes with a cooling mechanism for hot, hot days of dancing under the hot, hot sun to Hot Hot Heat. lizards, by and large, have no such luxury and will find it difficult to dance on a hot, hot day under the hot, hot sun to Hot Hot Heat. however, they will still find the vibrations in the ground, generated by the band's amplification system, to be happy. mammals, that is bi-pedal ones with rubber soles, do not get to experience the thrill that is splaying on the ground and jiggling to the lower frequencies of Hot Hot Heat down to the tip of your detatchable tail.

the moral of the story is that mammals and lizards have had a millenia-long hot, hot hate relationship. no one really knows when it began or who started it. reptimammalian relation historians have hypothesized that it all began with the exploitation of dinosaurs in Hanna "the Barbarian" Barbera's phrehistoric production of The Flintstones as household appliances and other such anachronistic paraphenalia. what reptilian protesters fail to note is the use of prehistoric mammalian appliances as well, i.e. mammoth vacuum cleaner, human foot brakes. needless to say this resentment has been fueled in more contemporary times by movies such as Jaws (sharks are just water lizards and you know it), Anaconda I/II, the Jurassic Parks and that Discovery Channel special on predators, which featured a crocodile (super lizard) ambushing a wildebeest (mammal) while at a local watering hole trying to pick up a nice, lean female wildebeest. the unfortunate, lovelorn wildebeest was later avenged in India when a Bengal tiger (mammal) attacked a lazing crocodile.

now crocodiles generally fear nothing, and for good reason too. they are the biggest, baddest non-mammals left on land since the tyrannosaurs roamed Kansas in the late Cretaceous. row upon row of wicked, jagged teeth line their long, muscular jaws. leathery armour lines their backs, protecting them from anything short of a crocodilian attack. in the case of the Indian tiger vs. crocodile, the tiger pounced upon the hapless crocodile, straddling its back, out of reach of the teeth, claws and whippersnapping tail (proving that non-lovelorn mammals are smarter than the average reptile), and dug a claw into a flaw in the armour. after a few hours of prying and gnawing, the tiger had dug herself a handsome crocodile hole at the base of said crocodile's barely identifiable neck. satisfied, the tigress strolled off to wash up while the crocodile wallowed for another 3 hrs in agony before succumbing to it's grievous injury. the tigress later came back with cubs and had a nice riverside meal to cap off a tiring day.

that's not to say that mammals are better than lizards in general; it's pretty evenly matched as evidenced by Godzilla's various forays into the heart of Tokyo culture. what can be seen in these instances is that mammals can actually set aside their differences (if only momentarily) with another dastardly foe to defeat a common enemy. that dastardly foe is the Bug. let's face it, mammals don't like bugs. they live in their furry places, bite them, poison them, find ways inside to steal a meal... bugs are annoying. however, reptiles don't fancy them much either, but more often making meals of them as bugs have an inherent weakness to cold-blood. this momentous occasion of "the enemy of my enemy's is my enemy" culminated in 1964 when Godzilla took exception to Tokyo being hit by a typhoon and decided to raise a ruckus. the natives of the land (small, pale, dark-haired mammals with a penchant for improving on lowly western products) enlisted the help of overseas mammals (rotund, very pale mammals with a penchant for shoddy workmanship and stormtrooper accuracy) to try to quell the furious beast from the East. after an ineffectual salvo of missiles missed their mark again, the natives turned to their only hope, a huge mother of a flying Bug, Mothra. though upset at an earlier merchantile misunderstanding (someone pawned off her typhoon swept egg and decided to artificially incubate it), decided that Godzilla was a threat too great to be ignored (recall that lizards eat bugs and that bugs have a weakness to cold-blood, fire type pokemon and being eaten). after a vicious battle (Mothra flapped for awhile and then spewed sparkly pollen before dying) Godzilla appeared victorious. however, the incubated egg, due to the ingenuity of the native mammals and the short gestation period of the bug, hatched! and the larvae horked up a major loogie that broadsided the flailing Godzilla, thereby drowning the lizard in the very ocean that he lived and breathed in.