yahoo! buzz log 2.19

yahoo! has certainly captured the human condition with the most Popular Prom Dress Searches.

the first one, the sexy prom dress, is indicative of our desire to appeal through our apparel. the 'sexy prom dress' has a long and arduous history, persecuted most rigourously back in the 60's when the feminist movement was on the upswing. SPDs were cast aside in favour of flannel lumberjack shirts and denim lumberjack overalls, as it was highly feminine to take 6 minutes in the bathroom just trying to figure out the overalls. but now, by some mixture of teenage rebellion and sarah jessica parker, it's more feminine to be overtly feminine, to flaunt your assets. as a result, SPDs tend to lead to STDs.

cheap prom dresses are what keep the economy going. after the Christmas spree, the winter blahs kick in. people stay indoors and stop buying stuff. but once march looms, its prom dress hunting time. come hell or high water, they just have to get the best deal on a passably fashionable dress. the trick here is to grossly overcharge for dresses normally - you still get a few rubes who live by doing everything 5 months in advance. then drop the prices to around $300 and they'll snap it right up, while you net profits by sheer quantity rather than quality. the cheap prom dress is a distant cousin of the used prom dress purchased at a yard sale or online. the stains add character, your father would say.

plus-size prom dresses are just like normal prom dresses, only more billowy. to assuage the self-esteem of the customer, retailers will opt for the PS system. instead of wearing a size 24, you'd only need a size 3-PS. that's right. it's just another arbitrary sizing system, because numbers that accurately reflect the diameter of my waist cannot be trusted to the hatefully honest inch.

the vintage prom dress is a flannel lumberjack shirt with denim lumberjack overalls and steel-toed boots. to get the whole vintage look down, remember to grow out your body hair (attach extensions if you're so unlucky to have the baldbody gene), wear a toque and a hooker thong, just as a nice surprise for your date.