thx b2 da Ceiling Cat 4 seshun reestor

words i would use to describe a subset of a certain school board's trustees, in lieu of actual sentences, to illustrate the irony of the word trustee

selfish immature self-serving irresponsible unreliable disgusting complacent money-grubbing broken unconscionable autocratic unprofessional disgraceful

so casual, yet so awkward

the favourite time of day for my parents to confront me about my personal life is after dinner, when we're washing the dishes (i.e. when no one else is around and when i cannot escape).

their latest salvo has moved beyond the usual, 'where does [so-and-so] go to school and what does she do?'; or the simple, 'do you have a girlfriend yet?'

now my mom just says, 'herman, your girlfriend must be very domestic, because you totally cannot take care of yourself and it would be very reassuring for me'; 'you know, nowadays it's pretty common for guys to date older women. one or two years older is pretty reasonable' (paraphrased from the cantonese). if i combine together everything she's said on the subject in the past three years, it'd make a decent wish-list.

it also sounds like my dad is the one spreading rumours about who i'm dating. he likes to observe and guess as much as i do. as i said before, with their powers combined, they're pretty accurate most of the time.

they are, by no means, pushy or gossipy people; i think they just want me to be more candid about my feelings because i generally tell them nothing of consequence. i do plan to start once there is something to tell.

By the Numbers: Grace

the above is a subset of the people of the world we live in, plotted onto a graph that shows their likely level of 'goodness' at any instant, on a scale from 0 to 10.

so you don't cheat, steal, kill or fornicate with animals. most people would say that you are a decent human being -- a nice, pleasant, good person. by golly, you don't even cuss or download mp3s or dance in public (want a medal?). you read the Bible, the Koran and the Torah every night before bed, pray before every meal and visit to the bathroom, kiss your mom goodnight and leave a 16.7% tip minimum for every service rendered. hallelujah! praise the Lord because you always say, 'praise the Lord' after something good happens.


this next graph shows the same numbers as seen in the previous graph, but in the context of God.

our 'goodness' compared to others, in the context of God, is negligible; our 'goodness', in the context of the truly Good, is nothing. still, in our decrepitude, God reaches down to offer saving grace for all who accept it. no one receives any more or any less than the other.

still a viable career option*

i visited the mall for the third Saturday in a row today. of course, the previous two trips were not of my own accord, but because i was accompanying someone who wanted to return items to Best Buy.

while trolling the stores for something interesting, i found my parents stopped in the middle of the mall looking up at something through the skylight. my dad called me over to take a look. a few thoughts crossed my mind: perhaps it was a crack, or a decal sporting an interesting pattern.

it turned out to be a large black bird. and i mean LARGE; like, turkey-sized. bigger than any city bird has the right to be. it was bigger than a raven, with a hunchbacked profile and a tiny, bald, wrinkly red head.

"what is it?" my dad asked.

i quickly polled my mental roster of North American birds, filtering for birds that were big and black with bald red heads.

"it's a vulture! or a buzzard. they're the same." i replied.

i wasn't positive at the time, but as i continued to gape up at the magnificent, but ugly creature, i felt pretty sure that it was a turkey vulture. it had colouring and shape that was similar to the more famous Californian Condor, but it was definitely not big enough, nor was it in the right range to be the condor.

as i stared, i wondered why i hadn't seen a turkey vulture in Toronto before. as this thought passed, a second turkey vulture joined the first. they waddled around on the glass, leering hungrily into the mall.

i watched them until they flapped off.

in other news, i finally used the GAP gift card i recieved in 2003.

*in grade 3, i wanted to grow up to become a birdwatcher.