if you could be...

any existing animal in the world, what would you choose to be?

on land, i would probably be a cheetah.
by sea, a dolphin. or maybe a thresher shark.
in the air, definitely a peregrine falcon.

hat-hair

at that moment the breeze calmed and the furious chewing of a nearby squirrel paused. he tugged the bill of his cap a little lower over his face. an ant crawled up his arm and tip-toed out of view. it drew his attention to the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing. largo - slowly, broadly. he squinted in the sun and caught a hint of an underlying beat. andante - the gait of a man without a care in the world, and a mild limp due to the pressure difference between the atria and ventricles. a syncopation. jazzy. my heart knows jazz. or does jazz know the heart?.

"i see a rabbit with a toque."

he turned to face her and some grass poked into his ear. she turned to face him when he did not answer. staring contest? she asked with her eyes.

"what?" she asked with her voice.

"how can you tell it's a rabbit if it's wearing a toque?"

she rolled over onto her side and pillowed her head with an arm. the waning sunlight back-lit her hair. time to take a mental picture.

"why do you always ruin my cloud animals?" she curled her legs. if the rabbit-with-a-toque looked down now, she'd be a question mark, dotted by the shoes that she had neatly slipped off earlier. but clouds don't know what question marks are, so the cleverness was lost on it.

"because you have an anger-dimple, and i like it. there it is," he poked her chin, left of her pout.

a pinch of grass suddenly found themselves flung onto his face. more than a few poked his face-up ear. matching. grass for brains is just fresh straw for brains.

the squirrel took to chewing again and the breeze swept away the grass and giggles in its wake. he turned back to face the sky. it really does look like a rabbit with a toque. he measured an allegretto now, the skip of a little boy who just won sixteen marbles, who had the pockets to carry them all. she grabbed his hat, filled it with grass and dumped it on his face.

The Office, Season 2, Episode 5, Halloween

Questionable Content: Innuendo

on Sheppard Ave, between Brimley and Midland, there is a 'massage parlour' in the green-roofed plaza (congee king, pho ha). it is called Pink Rose Massage Spa. it has mirrored out windows. there are two neon signs on the windows that say OPEN or MASSAGE in garish colours, flanking the door on either side. on the door itself there is a message that reads:

ALSO YOU CAN ENTER
THE BACK DOOR
i kid you not.

i wanted to take a picture of it, but as sherm was posing in front of the door, it opened. i was fully expecting a heavily made-up chinese woman in a sleeveless cheong-sam (long dress) with her hair done up in a bun and chopsticks. instead, a tall and oddly portly caucasian woman opened the door and said, "you guys are losers."

Nerd Corner: Keyword Bookmarking in Firefox

if you are a Firefox user, here's a helpful bit of nerdery i picked up off Lifehacker, an awesome blog for nerds and people obsessed with productivity. the title link leads to Lifehacker's most thorough post on this subject.

anyone who uses a web browser on a regular basis uses Bookmarks (Firefox, Netscape) or Favourites (Internet Explorer) to access those commonly visited sites. Keyword Bookmarking allows Firefox users to type in a short Keyword in the Address Bar to access a Bookmarked site, rather than navigating to the Bookmarks Menu and finding the correct button. this means you no longer need to leave the keyboard. simply press Ctrl + L to get to the Address Bar, type in your keyword, and go.

Adding a Keyword to Existing Bookmarks
Right-click the bookmark you want to add a keyword for and you will see a few fields to fill in. type in a short phrase, or even just a letter into the Keyword field.

it took me a bit of work to get used to it, but now i have all my useful bookmarks keyworded. this spares you the trouble of organizing your bookmarks because you'll probably never have to click that menu again anyway.

Add Keyword Field to the Add a Bookmark Dialogue Box

the default Add a Bookmark interface (Ctrl + D to add the current page as a bookmark) in Firefox is quite spartan. you can choose a name, edit the location and enter a description. the extension OpenBook will allow you to tweak the interface to your choosing, adding a variety of options (such as bookmark location) if you so choose. i used this for awhile until i found something better.

Firefox's main claim to usefulness is its potential for user customizations, predominantly through the aforementioned extensions, little programs created by Firefox developers and users to extend the functionality of the browser. beyond that is the userChrome.css. this is a style sheet that dictates the way Firefox looks and acts through bits of coding a nerdy user might insert into the core Firefox program. with short bits of code, one can remove useless menus and menu options from sight, change scrollbars, and even add backgrounds to the menus. click here to jump to Lifehacker's mini guide to Chrome customization.

the important customization to note is:

/* Add a keyword when adding a bookmark */
#keywordRow { display: -moz-grid-line !important; }

now every time you Add a Bookmark you'll see:


with the Keyword field available conveniently upon inception.

Keyword Searching

Firefox comes with a built-in Google toolbar (Ctrl + K), so searching is pretty much already at your fingertips. it also allows you to add searches, such as Wikipedia or IMDB within that toolbar. that's all fine and dandy, but Google, Wiki and IMDB are not the only websites that you want to search. unbeknownst to many, Firefox will allow you create keyword searches. simply right-click over a search bar, say Google Images, and select "Add a Keyword for this Search". it is basically Adding a Bookmark that you activate by keyword.


set up a Keyword the same way you would a Bookmark


so now whenever you need to dig up an image...


simply type in the keyword for that search and enter the search query after a space. any keyword search that you add is added as a bookmark, so it'd probably be a good idea to dump them into a folder specifically for searches.

that's all for now. i'm all nerded out.