SCRUBS: 3.11 "My Clean Break"

Turk: So, did you break up with her?

J.D.: I was going to last night, but then I looked in her eyes, and I realized how rare it is to meet someone who's actually willing to have sex with me.

Carla: How did you have sex with the woman you're about to break up with?

J.D.: Okay, you know how the, uh, couch in the living room has those high arms...?

Turk: Babe, you gotta understand, a guy will sleep with any woman he finds attractive, no matter how he feels about her. If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom and then offered to have sex with me? I'd have to dial 9-1-1 in the nude because my pants would already be off!

Carla: That's sweet! While your mother lays there dying!

Turk: [to J.D.] Tell her.

J.D.: His mom doesn't die. Tyra uses her connections in the supermodel world to get government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body. She falls in love with me, we all move in together.

Turk: It'd be awkward at first, but I'd make it work.... 'Cause I love my mom.

J.D.: Mm, and I would love her, too.

Carla: [going back to work] New low.

tis the season...

it's just about that time of year again.
more than a few people are just kicking back and relaxing from exams,
or still studying furiously to finish up the last one or two.
probably feeling a little bit lonely because everyone else is together.
this will cheer you up, knowing that someone out there is much worse off.

(right-click, save as)
turn it up

-cheers

people think that i eat too many chocolate bars, or that i don't wash my face...

here are a few things i like with chocolate:
- milk. milk chocolate doesn't really make any difference to me. chocolate milk, however, is probably what Jesus would've turned that bath water at the marriage at Cana into, had it been invented yet.
- peanut butter. thank you reese's.
- nutella. ferrero roche knows where its at.
- nuts. white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. 'nuff said.
- caramel. the caramilk bar secret is not very well protected.
- nougat. i don't really know what nougat is but it sounds dirrty.
- marshmallow. sugar + chocolate = can't be wrong.
- pastry and other bakery store goods. all pastry and other bakery store goods goodness is multiplied 10 billion-fold by a drizzle of chocolate syrup.
- mint. york peppermint patties! girl guides' chocolate mint thins! oh baby. i wish i had a sister so that ggcmts would come my way more often than door-to-door. my only way in now is to date a girl guide. i think it's worth it.

Attack of the Clones

Lindsay Lohan, Jojo, Shannon Lucio (aka Lindsay Gardner, The O.C.)

who's mother is Marcia Cross (aka Bree Van De Kamp, Desperate Housewives)

The Hunting of the Snark

Fit the Second: The Bellman's Speech

"Come, listen, my men, while I tell you again
The five unmistakable marks
By which you may know, wheresoever you go,
The warranted genuine Snarks.

"Let us take them in order. The first is the taste,
Which is meager and hollow, but crisp:
Like a coat that is rather too tight in the waist,
With a flavor of Will-o-the-wisp.

"Its habit of getting up late you'll agree
That it carries too far, when I say
That it frequently breakfasts at five-o'clock tea,
And dines on the following day.

"The third is its slowness in taking a jest.
Should you happen to venture on one,
It will sigh like a thing that is deeply distressed:
And it always looks grave at a pun.

"The fourth is its fondness for bathing-machines,
Which it constantly carries about,
And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes --
A sentiment open to doubt.

"The fifth is ambition. It next will be right
To describe each particular batch:
Distinguishing those that have feathers, and bite,
And those that have whiskers, and scratch.

"For, although common Snarks do no manner of harm,
Yet, I feel it my duty to say,
Some are Boojums -- " The Bellman broke off in alarm,
For the Baker had fainted away."