"my, what a strong grip you have."
"the better to ignore the pain of the Baby i'm trying to birth," she winced.
"you're doing just fine. just breathe."
"no, i think it'll be more comfortable if i just hold my breath."
"labour has made you sardonic."
"and all these people looking between my legs has made you jealous."
Of course her speech was punctuated with contractions and various huffings and puffings, and his was hushed and what he took to be soothing, but it would not do to transcribe it so. As far as birthing rooms go, this one was spartan. White dominated every angle, the lights yellow in comparison. Apparently it helps the mother-to-be focus her efforts, not that her vision isn't already blurred with tears and perspiration. speaking of which, he mopped her face with a sodden handkerchief.
"we have towels for that, sir," piped a Helpful Nurse.
"oh, it's all right. they'd probably be more useful for the mess on the floor."
she shrugged and continued her work arranging and rearranging the tools of her trade. the doctor, meanwhile, whispered coaxings to the unborn baby, urging him or her to come out and play.
"breach!"
"told you those towels would come in handy." she was too busy to reply.
"placenta. tugging time, boys and girls."
"darling, our Doctor seems to be a bit of a quack."
"keep pushing, baby. and you too, Baby."
through the pain, she beamed at him. he gave her a quick kiss before moving over for a better view. with the placenta now dangling uncomfortably, cradled by Helpful Nurse's outstretched gloved hand, he found good reason to go back to the kissing.
"the Baby should be coming out feet first now. what say you, Ultrasonic Nurse?"
Ultrasonic Nurse nodded her agreement and continued focusing the sounding pad. the Doctor's view of the screen was plenty clear.
Ominous beeping pierced the cheerful labour banter.
"Doc, we've lost the pulse!"
"now is not a good time!"
"we should induce."
"she's too close for it to have any effect. it's up to her."
tuning it all out, he prayed for deliverance and delivery.
it was raining. pathetic fallacy, he mused, the very heavens weep for us. turning back to the clipboard in hand he filled out the necessary paperwork, the bills, the request for the body. the family and friends had all, thankfully, been ushered out politely by the ward's nurses. there was only so much condolance one could take.
he trudged back to her room and crawled under the covers. she was awake. tears sprung anew, but out of courtesy they sobbed quietly to each other until exhaustion overtook their grief and whisked them off to sleep. but not before he wiped her nose.
sleep was but temporary escape, though still preferable to being awake, which was a rather rotten feeling. the sun shone brightly, daring us to be happy. fat chance, Gas Ball. as he rubbed the crust from his eyes he found his wife awake, ceiling-gazing, quite possibly counting the holes in the tiles.
"12 403."
"i got 12 437. good morning." she continued to stare at the ceiling.
"its not your fault."
"i know."
"want to get out of here?"
"yeah."
"home?"
"not yet."
parking, they climbed on top of the hood, side by side, just like the good old days.
"just like the good old days." he echoed his thoughts. her only response was to curl up closer.
the leaves had just turned and were beginning to drop. the wind nipped but the heat of the engine warmed them from below. cirrus clouds wisped the secret messages of the winds in the sky as the sun warmed them from above. they were at a favourite Kodak Moment spot, a little parkette overlooking the valley and the opposite face. there the trees waved trichromatically, deciduous reds and olds, coniferous greens. it was there they had their first date. it was there he proposed. it was where they went to escape to think, to talk. it was where they went to celebrate the good stuff, and deal with the hard stuff.
"it was a boy."
"i suppose we ought to name him then. i don't think 'the Baby' really holds much water with kids these days."
"did you have something in mind?"
"not really. just whatever fit the moment."
"how about 'Not Fair'?" he pouted.
"you're pouting."
"a great male model was lost the day i picked up those books." that elicited a smirk, the first emotion she'd shown other than sorrow. they had met as he stooped to help her pick up her texts.
"not lost. just monopolized."
"selfish, selfish, selfish," he chided.
"is it selfish of me to want our Baby back?"
"no. we're allowed to covet God's possessions."
"it hurts."
"a lot. i love you."
"that helps."
he kissed her forehead and they spent the rest of the morning in silence.
Keep me in your heart for a while
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for a while
When you get up in the morning, and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for a while
There's a train leaving nightly, called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for a while
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heat for a while
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heart for a while
Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for a while
Hold me in your thoughts
Take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next you
Engine drivers headed north to pleasant street
Keep me in your heart for a while
These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for a while
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heart for a while
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heart for a while
Keep me in your heart for a while
