children

"Her-man. You should email [Avril] everyday. That's how you get someone to marry you. You should marry Avril. Then you could be rich... and when you need to wipe your butt you won't have to, you just get the maid to do it for you."

"Herman, what colour is your underwear?"

"Why don't you watch wrestling? I like it when the blood pours down their faces. Then I know how Jesus felt when he was being crucified. What is more painful, wrestling or being crucified like Jesus?"

the girliest thing

reading a maragret atwood novel while taking a strawberry kiwi herbal foam bubble bath and wearing a fruit extract-with revitalizing minerals and vitamin formulae-pore opening facial mask with a towel wrap on to keep the freshly streaked hair dry while resting your neck on a folded purple terry cloth bath towel.

bad dream

Pokémon of the Week

POKEDEX name: NUMEL number: 322 type: Numb height: 2'4"/ 0.7 m weight: 53 lb./ 24.0 kg characteristic: oblivious - is not affected by ATTRACT evolutions: numel --lv.33--> camerupt Ruby: NUMEL is extremely dull witted - it doesn't notice being hit. However, it can't stand hunger for even a second. This POKéMON's body is a seething cauldron of boiling magma. Sapphire: NUMEL stores magma of almost 2,200 degrees F within its body. If it gets wet, the magma cools and hardens. In that event, the POKéMON's body grows heavy and its movements become sluggish.

base stats: HP:60 AT:60 DE:40 SA:65 SD:45 SP:35

due to popular demand, i present to you, numel. the numb camel. this is the first potw featuring a pokémon from ruby/sapphire. numel is the unevolved form of camerupt, one of the few new fire types available in RS. it has an intriguing type mixture, fire/ground. it neutralizes fire's weakness to rock and ground's weaknesses to ice and grass. unfortunately it compounds their collective weakness to water.

for an unevolved pokémon, numel boasts fair enough stats, leaning more to attacking than defending. a high-ish attack and special attack lends itself to using attacks from both types for STAB. by sheer charity, numel learns both flamethrower and earthquake! the pokégods smile upon this dopey pokémon. and it can learn body slam through breeding (w/ torkoal)!

unfortunately the rest of the moves available to numel are somewhat blah, and considering his weak defenses, numel cannot be expected to last long, nor can camerupt. with such low defenses and speed in an attack happy RS environment, there isn't much chance for setup. numel is probably better off as a fun pokémon for in-game play, as the elite five sport both ice and steel types, both suseptible to a numellian assault. onto the movesets...

numel @ quick claw; body slam, amnesia, flamethrower, earthquake
personality: relaxed (+DEF, -SPD)
train for max attack, half max special defense and half max special attack.
quick claw to maybe correct that woeful speed and the chance for paralysis from body slam will aid that cause. amnesia will maybe help numel live a little longer, or survive a pesky bubble (any water attack more powerful will faint numel no matter what =P).

numel @ scope lens; focus energy, body slam, overheat, earthquake
personality: sassy (+SDE, -SPD)
train for max attack, max defense
scope lens + focus energy for boosted critical hit rate. overheat is more or less one-time use because of that special attack drop. probably saved for skarmories and other steel types with no special defense. body slam for a chance for paralysis and speed drop, earthquake for a solid STABed attack.

The Poopie List

GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!